Gliding Through Motherhood

Bloggy makeover

2010-12-13T21:59:00.002-05:00

I just bloggy makeovered myself!!

I even bought the url and am now self-hosting a wordpress blog.

So come on over to www.glidingthroughmotherhood.com and check it out. And change your rss readers if needed, because I will set this url to autoforward there in about a week.

Let me know what you think!!

iPhone

2010-12-10T07:05:00.003-05:00

My iPhone broke. It was bound to happen - I think something about my inner core slowly electrocutes electronics - my computers, phones, etc always go nuts way earlier than everyone else's.

It also doesn't help that there are little people who abscond with our electronics even when we try to keep them away from them. Or that I thought it was ok to give the baby the iPhone (harmless right?) until Quinn sucked on it and did something to it and it start making this horrendous noise instead of vibrating (all who heard the noise can attest to a) its horribleness and b) its bizareness ;)

It went to a crazy white screen of death about half an hour after Eric left for a business trip and our house fell to the plague. It took me a week to get it in to be repaired. In all I was without an iPhone for 20 days. It was awful.

In those 20 days I would bemoan all the missed tweets, the difficulty of looking at a map BEFORE going somewhere, and at least 5 times a day I would take out the loaner flip phone, open it, and gaze at it - willing it to do SOMETHING, ANYTHING interesting. It never did.

I have a new iPhone now - still a 3G (which is just fine with me) but BRAND NEW. No more crazy buzzing and maybe another year before it starts acting up. And I think I may invest in the Applecare because OBVIOUSLY despite my love of electronics, they don't seem to love me.

And I am very very happy to have it back.

Paper and pen - imagine that!

2010-12-06T06:54:00.000-05:00

Paper, stationary to be more specific, has always been a bit of an indulgence for me. I love pretty notebooks and writing paper... they call out to me.

Seems more than a bit odd for someone who does 99.9% of their writing on a computer (or iPhone when it isn't busted!) doesn't it? But really, I buy them; I love them; I don't really use them.

Recently paper and I have had a bit of a reunion - partially with intent, partially due to circumstance. In a combination of being more thoughtful in my writing, and trying to keep grimy little paws from banging on my laptop, I dug out some old notebooks. And I quickly realized that not only are my kids not particularly interested in my notebook (no buttons, pffft!) the exercise of putting pen to paper is almost magical (we're in that lovey dovey stage ;)

What it does is slows down the whole process. I can type so much faster than I can hand write. I spend more time pondering and less time verbal 'diarrhea-ing'. Then, I have to type the post, giving me a chance to rethink again. (My posts may still seem written off the cuff, but I'm actually trying hard to craft the thoughts behind them ;) Another bonus? I find the act of writing on paper calming. It's a way to focus, something I need to do more of.

In the process of rediscovering my love of writing on paper I felt inspired to write some letters. REAL letters on paper - mailed and received in a mailbox. I was nostalgic for the days of the 20+ page tomes I used to receive in the summers from friends away or just from a different town (I lived in a rural area as a teen and went to a regional highschool). And I remembered all of the notes written and passed back and forth between classes, folded into pinwheels and arrows. Do kids still write each other notes all origamied up or do they just text now?

I wrote two letters, letters full of all kinds of information I usually forget to write in emails or just don't take the time to put to paper. And then I realized what one of the big pitfalls to letter writing is. Getting it into the mailbox. Those two letters have been sitting for two weeks on my bookshelf - they aren't even addressed yet. But the thought was there and the exercise was still nice.

Paper and pen - I am using it more and feeling good about it. I don't want it to become a lost art. I plan to write more (lucky me I have so much nice and fun stuff to write on! :) What about you?

Feeling a bit like Pablo

2010-12-01T14:20:00.004-05:00

I'm shy. Really shy.

Oh I know, I don't always seem shy. But sometimes the thought of speaking up, in front of people (!) paralyzes me.

In highschool, whenever I was called on in class, regardless of topic or my knowledge on the subject, I had a canned answer "I don't know." Far better to appear to not be paying attention or care than to be WRONG. Or be EMBARRASSED!

I'm much better now. I speak my mind quite a bit in public - if it's on a topic I feel comfortable on. But even then I worry people think I'm a blabbermouth at the end (*cough cough* brain drain events *cough*)

But in a situation where I feel out of my depths? If you tell me I HAVE to talk, I may start to cry - at least on the inside. Or leave.

I'm working on confronting these fears. I don't actually leave, even though I really really want to. But just for the record, if you are in a group and you tell everyone they HAVE to speak up individually or do something individually in front of a group of people, you probably just really upset someone. Maybe that's OK, but know that it happened. And be really supportive of the girl in the back who looks like she's about to cry. K?

Sibling joy

2010-11-28T20:28:00.002-05:00

The last while hasn't been easy - it's hard to remember to note the good when your patience and energy are sapped.

But despite the rashes and the dripping noses; the hacking coughs and the nearly incessant whining there has been much laughter and joy.

Laughter as the babies have really discovered their love of dancing and music.

Laughter as the babies hug their older brother, while also trying to walk around the room.

Eyes lighting up and great big waves and HIs! for their big brother when they first catch sight of him in the mornings.

Invented games funny to nobody but themselves.

Caring and concern from an older brother

Sibling bonding has been strong around here lately - and it is definitely a joy to behold.

Fake it

2010-11-25T07:39:00.003-05:00

Lately I don't want to get out of bed. My children (whom I love very much) have been sick and whiny and clingy and have pushed me the very end of my sanity.

I feel inadequate as a mother; a a friend; as a wife. I am ready to curl up on the floor and give up, wishing I could be alone for... a week. Or a month or two. Maybe then I wouldn't feel such melancholy; so lost and out of control.

And then I thought "fake it".

So today that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to pretend the whining and clingy-ness doesn't feel like nails on a chalkboard. I'm going to pretend I feel confident enough not to let others get me down. I'm going to pretend I have the energy to go for a walk to the park when I really want to huddle on the couch while my kids trash the house.

While I'm at it I'm going to pretend to be organized and efficient, pretend I don't hate cleaning, pretend I like exercising and pretend I don't feel like I'm living life on a hamster wheel.

And if I fake all those things, even for just a day or two, maybe some of them will start to feel true.

It's going to be a good day. A GREAT day! (are you feeling it? :)

Stop fighting

2010-11-22T22:15:00.003-05:00

Tonight, after a thoroughly lovely day, Eric and I went out for dinner. My dad babysat and we decided to go out for Indian food - something we haven't had in a long time.

We arrived at the restaurant and found the front door locked but could see someone inside. She opened the door for us and I asked if they were closed and she said "no no, come in."

The owner then came to serve us and he explained that he and his family had been invited to visit with some friends so they were going to close the restaurant early, but he had called them to tell them that they would be late because customers had arrived. I apologized and he said no no, he was happy to do it because God wanted it so.

He then launched into a bit of a religious/spiritual explanation but the core message of it just felt nice to me.

If the Universe (God) wants things a certain way, who am I to fight it? Go with the flow and everyone will be happier.

It felt like a lesson I need to live by more often, and also kind of like a breath of fresh air.

There were three in the bed and the little one said "thank god there's a bed rail on here!"

2010-11-16T22:40:00.001-05:00

Eric is in New York City for three nights this week, and apparently one of us going to NYC for any reason means that people will fall ill and be miserable. WOO!

Kiernan almost never gets sick. When he does, he's sick for 24 hours and then we're good to go. Until last week he'd only ever had antibiotics once, for an ear infection just prior to him turning two. In the last three weeks I've kept him home from school 7 days. The poor kid is miserable. He was home for a week with pink eye and a double ear infection. This time he's had a fever, been throwing up, and got A MYSTERIOUS RASH (no, it doesn't look anything like Juliette's rash).

Quinn is teething. In the two nights since Eric left I have slept by myself in my own bed for a total of 45 minutes. Between the two boys they woke up 6 times just last night, and that was after Kiernan was up until 10 because he napped all day yesterday. At one point last night I dealt with two FREAKING out boys by nursing Quinn in bed with Kiernan in his single bed. In was snug - to say the least, but at least I didn't need to worry about anyone falling on the floor....

The ridiculous night rolled into a ridiculous day as I've wasted at least an hour and a half going to see doctors only to leave (line too long, forgot wallet, etc) until I finally managed to see a doctor. Who's diagnosis was of course "hmmm probably just some virus... maybe fifths." So we're staying away from pregnant and trying to keep on keeping on. I managed to get Kiernan in bed by 9:30 tonight and then am staying up to watch Glee because as tired as I am, this mama needs a bit of mindless tv time.

Any bets on how much sleep I get/got on night three? ;)

What's up Sunday (this is a working title)

2010-11-14T13:41:00.005-05:00

I'm trying to blog here more. I want to change this space into something that feels more "right" for me, and I think you'll slowly notice some subtle changes. And in time notice some bigger ones (stay tuned). But I do a lot of other things, so I'm going to try to post updates from time to time, in case you want to go and have a look at some of the other things I'm doing. Kind of like the Bloggess' wrapups (except for the part where my blog and other stuff is nothing like what she does ;)

While I'm at it, I'm going to point out a few links that I've recently seen that I think are worth checking out.

Happy Sunday!

Where have I been?

Did you know that Kids in the Capital has something called Social Media Mondays? Brie and I love social media so much we want to help people figure out how to get more involved themselves. I've been writing about Twitter - the whys and the hows and the whos. If you're interested, go and check out the posts, and give it a try yourself!

Losing it Ottawa - I briefly lost 20 lbs! Woohoo! I'm not there any more, but I'm also glad I'm no longer bedridden with bronchitis (you win some, you lose some, right?) But I have started Booty Camp Fitness and I'm going to be talking about that over the next few weeks. Go cheer me on - it helps me stay focused :)

Where should you go?

This kid - hilarious. Worth watching 4 or 5 times to cheer yourself up. :)

Tis almost the season, check out Dani's post on all the Santa parades and make your plans now!

This is a football video, and even *I* was amused.*

*my husband sends me funny things. He gets the credit for finding them in the first place.

My queen of the Rash

2010-11-13T20:20:00.008-05:00

UNLESS you are Juliette.

Juliette a.k.a. the QUEEN of the mysterious rashes.

The first time she got a weird rash, I panicked. We were on our way to Montreal for an overnight trip and it was AWFUL timing. We ended up calling telehealth, answering a ton of questions and then being reassured that it didn't sound dire and we could still go to Montreal; if it wasn't gone in a day or two to head to the doctor. And by the next day it was gone. No explanation, but a lot of relief.

Since then, it has happened three other times. Each time, the rash looked different. A couple of times we've gone to the doctor.

Once, it was hives. Hives from what? Nobody knows!! But it was scary looking! And then they went away.

I was a rashy kid, so I thought I understood rashes. They're itchy, you generally need a lot of cortisone type creams, you can take medication to help with it sometimes, it's uncomfortable, etc. I get it. I am obviously well suited to deal with rash issues in my children. It's almost like my specialty.

So this week when a new rash appeared, I wasn't about to get all worked up about it. Did it look like any of the other rashes she's had? No, but no two have looked alike. I figured it was just another one of her mysterious rashes, what the doctors like to say was "probably just a virus that appeared as a rash for her".

Thing is, this rash didn't start going away after a couple of days... it was kind of spreading...

And I started feeling guilty about having her out and around other people. Maybe it was something bad? Maybe I was wrong to just assume it was another crazy Juliette rash?

So yesterday afternoon I made an appointment with the doctor and I brought her in. I was lucky enough that Vicky was able to stay with Quinn while I quickly ran to have this rash checked out. Thing is, there was nothing quick about it. The doctor saw her rash and immediately looked "concerned". And then he sent us to CHEO. With a do not pass go (as in you can't go home first and get stuff, go STRAIGHT TO CHEO NOW!!) order. Because apparently this rash was actually burst blood vessels which could be a sign of something much much worse.

Much much worse turned into all kinds of terrible and horrible outcomes in my head on that drive to CHEO. Fortunately Eric works at CHEO so I picked him up on the way. We got to emergency and guess what? Everyone there was ALSO very CONCERNED. Concerned us right into isolation where all nurses and doctors had to don all kinds of protective gear to look at her. Fear and guilt levels were sky rocketing by this point. Oh, and I had to figure out what to do with my other kids in the meantime! (I am so grateful I have friends and family that can help out in times like these!)

The doctors and nurses asked us a zillion questions about how she was doing, but our answers were always the same. She was completely and totally fine, except for this rash. And it became apparent fairly quickly (to me) that whatever it was that they thought she had... she probably didn't. Because if she'd had the TERROR rash for three days (instead of whatever it is she had) she would be deathly ill, and not running laps around the isolation room, climbing on the chairs, and spinning in circles for the thrill of getting dizzy.

The doctors were obviously figuring this out too, since one doctor popped in through the main door instead of the isolation chamber to tell us someone would be with us again soon. I told her everyone else was using all the isolation gear and she said "that's because they think she's sick, but they briefed me and I don't think so". So slowly they all relaxed. They were still perplexed, but they relaxed. And so did I.

Juliette didn't get to relax though as they drew blood, put in an IV (just in case they needed to give her medicine later - I would fight this in the future fyi, it was a waste of time and not worth the incredible grief that came with it. lesson learned) and generally poked and prodded at her. And 5.5 hours later they sent us home.

Diagnosis? "Probably just a virus that appeared as a rash for her." I am telling myself "better safe than sorry. better safe than sorry." and not "oh for crying out loud, I KNEW IT!"

But just in case, if you ever see a rash that looks like this, head to CHEO quick, because it could be the sign of a really dangerous blood infection. Or, it could be nothing. But, better safe than sorry. :)

Twins @ 18 months : divide and conquer

2010-11-09T13:42:00.003-05:00

When the babies were new and I was out with them, I would get often stopped by mothers of twins (there are more than you realize) to be told "it gets easier, I promise!"

Sweet relief to be told it wouldn't be as hard as it was forever. By 2-3 months old, it would be easier - and it was. (I can't imagine it will ever be as hard as those first few months).

Later, twin moms would approach me and I would say to them "it gets easier right?" Except by then, at about six months, it wasn't THAT hard any more. I had things rolling, I had a system, we went out, we did things, we knew how to manage at home, and we were doing just fine. I even had my 3 year old home with me two days a week and for the most part, we were OK. So when I asked twin moms at that point if things got easier many didn't give me the response I expected. "Well... I guess... I mean, it gets different," they all seemed to hesitantly answer.

Now, at 18 months, I totally understand. It has been getting progressively more difficult since about 12 months. In exchange for the advantage of two kids of the same age who can play together, I also have two kids who can fight (Juliette bites, a lot. sigh) I also have two kids who can split up, making me decide if I need to stop the kid splashing in the toilet, or the one banging on my laptop. When we go out and they both want to walk instead of staying in the stroller, I can't just jog along behind them, because there are two of them, and they don't both want to go in the same direction.

(If anyone knows of any places to take young kids where you are in an enclosed space, please let me know! The more places I can go, the better (Cosmic and Kid Kaf are my two go to places for now)

Twins. They are amazing and wonderful. And SO exhausting.

Halloween - a recap

2010-11-05T21:42:00.010-04:00

This year we had three little trick or treaters to handle... and tricky it was (3 kids going in 3 different directions aie aie aie ;)

We had a beautiful butterfly, who, true to nature wanted to go where she wanted to go, wanted to walk, wouldn't let go of her candy bag for anything, but who also had a very good time.

And a cute little knight who wasn't so sure about being dressed up and walking around outside until he realized he got to keep going up to doors. "DO!" "DO?!" "DO!" (Quinn loves doors)

Kiernan loves to trick or treat, and this year was no exception even with the cold temperatures and SNOW!
Buzz was happy as anything, especially with his buddy Woody by his side. They made quite the pair, everyone thrilled to see their matching costumes!

The whole trick or treating gang.

Hope everyone had a happy halloween. I'm still (slowly) enjoying the fruits of our labour (I don't look forward to them getting to the age where we don't get to snag our own share of the loot ;)

And thanks for getting photos Vicky when my hands were never free enough :)

One word

2010-11-05T09:19:00.004-04:00

Thank you to everyone for their comments on my last post about my voice. I want to clarify that the work I want to do on my blog is not because someone told me I needed to make it better, but because I have been feeling uninspired lately.

By working on it, by figuring myself out, by talking these things through with friends and with you, I am hoping to improve this space not only for you guys, but mostly for me. So you see, I'm being totally selfish here :)

Here is some more post-Blissdom stuff:

***

During Blissdom Canada there was a discussion about branding and self-branding. A recommendation was made to try to pick one word that describes yourself. I forget who made that suggestion but I do know that Catherine suggested five words and nobody but me seems to have heard that ;)

So the internets are all trying to choose their ONE word. And they're doing a great job. Annie asked for help and in the end chose evolving. Sara picked a word that has a lot of meaning for her right now: change. And if you can ignore the rap references there are a lot of other word choices listed in this twitter feed. I'm loving reading about it all.

What I think is lovely about asking for help in this exercise (which many people have been doing) is that people will tell you the things you could never say about yourself without sounding egotistical. Kind, lovely, supportive, magnetic, strong - these are words you don't say about yourself, but are nice to hear that others think of you.

But I can't even start to figure out what one word I would use to describe the core of who I am. What words can I use to describe myself? Mother, wife, friend - good words to be, but certainly none are all encompassing.

Honest (mostly), friendly (mostly), thinker (always), sarcastic (too often), funny (in theory) - nothing even close to describing me completely.

Tired (always), unfocused (lately), shrinking (yay), learning (so much!) - more words I totally relate to.

But ONE word? To describe the core of me? I can't do it. I won't do it! (I'm not sure I'm going to be able to bring it down to just five!)

Unless of course my one word is : stubborn. :)

I've lost my voice

2010-11-02T19:53:00.003-04:00

I got to spend four days at Blissdom Canada last week and it was amazing!

I learned so much and my to do lists are now immeasurably long, but what I learned - gold.

Except this: Apparently stream of consciousness blogging is SO 2008. Oh. Crap.

What it really made me realize is that I need to figure out who I am (so philosophical!) My personal blog, this blog that I started over four years ago, it's floundering. I have no direction. The tone is nothing like it was four years ago which was a straight journal: Kiernan is eating solids! Kiernan slept through the night! etc etc etc

That tone no longer feels like what I want my blog to be, but I also miss having that record of milestones and stories for the twins. And I rarely write any more because nothing really feels right.

I have been trying out different voices in the last few months. Some I like, some ring untrue. Another clear nugget from this past week - BE AUTHENTIC. If what I write feels like I'm not being myself, I shouldn't post it.

Scott Stratten started off the conference with a very inspiring speech that was wonderful but left me a bit.... stressed. He told us to "only write amazing."

Thankfully I heard not everyone agrees, knowing full well that that might only happen twice a year. And maybe that's where I'm getting stuck "Why write if it isn't going to be amazing?"

They told us to try to suck less. To be aware that sometimes you will suck and to be ok with that, but that there are ways to put effort into sucking less. EDIT, go over and cut out the crap (which reminds me of a tip I once heard that suggesting cutting out the first and last paragraph of anything you write because they are probably unnecessary).

Suck less.
Be amazing.
Know your voice.
Be authentic.
Stay true to yourself and your brand.
Inspire your readers to connect with you.
Be creative.

No pressure or anything!

So I sit here and I wonder how to find the voice that feels real and right. I wonder how to define the purpose of Gliding Through Motherhood. Does Gliding Through Motherhood even apply anymore? How can I bring that name to a new place that is nothing about rocking babies?

I struggle with these questions. The writing that I do on other blogs is so clear - the topic and the voice. Here, I question most everything.

I welcome your feedback. Are the experts right? Do you want to only read well crafted posts and not the mindless ramblings of my mind? Have you noticed my attempts at different styles? Have they rung true? What are your favourite posts that I write. No holds barred - give it to me straight.

Because I need my voice back.

Commercials and my boy

2010-10-21T14:39:00.002-04:00

We've been watching Treehouse almost exclusively since Kiernan was born. We have been spoiled by the lack of commercials.

Suddenly, he wants more. He wants to watch shows he hasn't seen before and we've been letting him watch a lot of the Retro stuff - Inspector Gadget, Smurfs, Loony Toons. He likes it and we're happier with these options than a lot of the other stuff on (ie Sponge Bob).

But now we have commercials. And I am amazed at a couple of things

1) How quickly he went from "I don't like commercials!" to "I want one of those!" "Can I have that thing?"
and
2) How very gender specific his choices are. He ONLY asks for the "boy" toys. I don't think we have a lot of gender specific toys at our house, most of the stuff is pretty neutral, blocks, musical instruments, shape sorters, etc We do have quite a bit of kitchen stuff, and also workshop stuff. I hadn't really noticed until lately how much Kiernan mostly prefers the workshop stuff (but I HAVE noticed how much Juliette ALREADY enjoys the kitchen stuff) but every ad on tv that's about cars and superheroes and I don't even know what else, but obviously for boys gets a "Can I have one of those?" and all of the swimming puppies and barbies get a blank look.

I don't really care either way. He can like what he likes and he can ask for all he wants but he'll get a few choice things for Christmas and his birthday, but it's all struck me as really interesting.

The end ;)

Climbing

2010-10-18T14:08:00.002-04:00

As a rock climber reaches the peak after a particularly well executed climb, or as he feels the wind whipping by as he repels back down the rock face feeling the thrill of speed, he probably doesn't remember his first foray into the world of thrill seeking...

But I bet his mother does. She probably watched his little face full of joy and excitement, triumph and thrill as he went up and down his first real climb.

And she was probably glad, that for now, watching him climb up and slide quickly down the stairs 50 times a day was as risky as it was going to get. At least as long as she kept her eyes on him as HE eyed the far riskier climbs all around him with great anticipation.

Ow!

2010-10-16T22:38:00.002-04:00

Juliette has several favourite words. They include hi, maaeee (it was mommy at one point - she's gotten lazy), no and OW!

Most of the time, she uses OW incorrectly, or at least, very liberally.

We'll be driving along and we hit a pothole and I hear "OW!! OWW!"" from the backseat.

The stroller goes over a curb "OW!!"

Not really OW Juliette....

That being said she does use it correctly and very cutely a lot of the time. She bumps herself on something (no matter how lightly) and she clutches her injury and proclaims "ow! ow! ow!" the whole way over to me before leaning in for a kiss in the afflicted spot.

Or on her big head, or on her toe or on her hand....

"ow! ow! ow!"

The things that distract me from blogging here...

2010-10-09T17:49:00.006-04:00

Kids in the Capital - not only is it going very well, we've got a new look and we moved to our own domain!

Kids in the Capital spun off this month too - Kids in Cowtown is the equivalent but in Calgary. If you know any parents in Calgary who could benefit - please pass along the link!

Losing it in Ottawa - the first eight week session is done and I kicked ass ;)

My Uppercase Living business has launched and is going well. If you want to sign up for my newsletter, I'm going to be sending out updates for promotions, sales and special events. I'm going to be doing a draw for everyone who signs up for the newsletter by Nov 30 for a this Fa la la la la Christmas vintage embossed metal board kit.

I'm also going to do a draw for this build a snowman activity set from everyone who holds a party between now and November 30. Plus you'll get a Christmas decal sampler. Let me know if you're interested!

I'm also getting ready to go to She's Connected and Blissdom this month.

Oh, and these guys too I guess ;)

Maybe I found a solution to keep them all safe!

2010-10-08T09:40:00.003-04:00

My babies couldn't be more different. Passive, cuddly, sweet vs boisterous, independent and assertive.

She is significantly smaller than her brothers, but she never lets that stop her from believing she is the boss. And she is willing to do what it takes to ensure herself as alpha dog of the pack. She bites, she pinches, she pushes, she hits, she shoves.... and her two much larger brothers? They fall to the ground in tears, the picture of pitiful.

She will be my biggest challenge, this girl. She is also my comeuppance.

Thankfully she doles out the hugs and the kisses in good measure too - her brothers love and adore her.

But sometimes I think we might just want to keep seats like this inside for all the time. Much safer.

I think I'm failing Kindergarden

2010-10-01T08:05:00.002-04:00

I didn't know there was so much work involved in this Kindergarden/school thing - for the parents!

Every day Kiernan's bag comes home - with work for me. And... I wasn't really doing it all.

And then the teacher called me out with a note! Ok, it was a note to everyone reminding them what they need to do - I must not be the only one who was emptying all that those papers out of his folder every night? I wasn't the only one who didn't remember to label EVERY. SINGLE. clothing item before he went to school?

Sigh - totally dropped the ball on Terry Fox run (really? he's 4. It's the first month - I have to fundraise for him? :P) and we lost (and found) one coat so far. I need to remember to return library books, and to pack a healthy lunch every day (unless I bought him a hot lunch, then I need to remember NOT to pack him a lunch that day). They have pizza mondays - I got them for him sometimes, but not all of the time. Then the guilt sets in when he tells me everyone but him had pizza because they ran out. sigh. Really? EVERYONE in the class is having pizza EVERY week?!

There's the added stress that my written French isn't great and I ought to write the notes in French. I think I'm saying less than I would have to avoid figuring out how to say it. That's a FAIL for effort Lara!

It'll get easier right? By the time I have 3 in school, this will be old hat?? Ugh! Was starting school hard for you? Thank goodness Kiernan is transitioning well! :)

The things you can say without words

2010-09-28T23:43:00.006-04:00

Juliette won't trust you when she first meets you - and you'll be able to tell.

Maybe she'll scowl at you or maybe she'll just look really skeptical.

When she's not being wildly surprised or shocked...

But she'll realize again, she's not so sure about you.

Good thing she warms up with some beautiful smiles eventually :)

Uppercase Living - my newest project

2010-09-28T11:24:00.008-04:00

I've been up to something new! Something else to add to my boring and dull existence ;)

I've joined Uppercase Living as a demonstrator!!

When I first saw their product a little over a month ago at a small entrepreneur show I got really excited - I LOVE wall decals!! And these ones are totally customizable - colour, size, and if they don't have the words I want, I can simply create them!

Anyways, I fell instantly in love with the idea and joined pretty much right away. I've officially launched so feel free to check it out. You can shop online (Canada or the US) from my web site, or I can come to you and do a bit of a presentation and you get all kinds of host benefits.

Check it out! :)

Kiernan gets a haircut

2010-09-26T22:44:00.004-04:00

This morning Brie wrote a post for Kids in the Capital about cutting her kids' hair and I was inspired. I've been wanting to try it for awhile and I Kiernan was BADLY in need of a cut. Very badly!

Then we wet it and made funny faces.

I started with scissors. This did not work well. He wiggled, he thought everything tickled, he would get up and leave, he just about made me insane.

With half his hair cut I got really ticked and threatened to take him to a barber. Instead I brought him upstairs, stripped him down and stuck him in the tub and used Eric's clippers.

In the end that worked really well - although I wouldn't do it naked again. Made him very itchy and I felt bad about that. Maybe outside would work better.

I'm pretty happy with how it turned out and am sure I'll do this again - cheaper than going to a barber! And I think he looks pretty darned handsome!

Atelier Restaurant

2010-09-18T06:44:00.006-04:00

It's not often Eric comes home talking excitedly about a restaurant he's heard about, but what he heard about Atelier Restaurant immediately intrigued him. He started watching the youtube videos and reading the blog and would tell me all about the interesting things they were doing.

The restaurant is pricey so we couldn't justify it for just any occasion, but our fifth wedding anniversary seemed worthy. And for this night, Losing it in Ottawa did not enter into my head :)

I wasn't going to bring my camera in... I get shy taking photos in public. But once I saw someone with their point and shoot taking flash photos of every course I figured I could take some subtle photos without the flash. :)

The food at Atelier is a work of art. Each piece of each meal is carefully thought out in terms of look and taste and how it all works together. Each course as in all 12 of them! Atelier has what they call a blind menu - essentially you eat what they're making that night. They do ask if you have any allergies, dislikes, etc before you start. We decided to just go with whatever came at us.

We started with Down by the Bay - it not only had "sea foam", an oyster and was served on a river rock.... there was grilled watermelon (which was a HEAVENLY mouthful). Genius start to the meal.

The presentation was divine and there were so many flavours that I am usually not the biggest fan of that just WORKED when put into these combinations.

This course was called cocktail party and you ate them in a specific order. Each piece was on a piece of cheddar and ranged from "french onion soup" to a jalapeno popper with dehydrated bacon, and apple pie.

What's a tomato salad with a dehydrated tomato chip on top?

I don't really like goat's cheese. Eric doesn't like sweet potato. I've never had duck before. All three things together was one of the most pleasant taste experiences of my life. Drool.... drool!

This was squab. I'd never heard of squab. It was cooked using this method of cooking called sous-vide that Eric has been telling me about for a long time. Again, I'm obviously no food writer because all I want to say is OMG DROOL DROOL SO YUMMY!

Three dessert courses my friends! This one was called high five.

This one came out smoking :)

I didn't take a photo of every course, but every course was divine. The wine pairings were a highlight for Eric - I chose to just have a couple of glasses of white because red gives me headaches.

The meal isn't cheap, but it was worth every penny - and we intend to go back for Eric's birthday! :)

Mark's made me feel like a million bucks

2010-09-15T23:19:00.007-04:00

I was lucky enough to be one of the people who knew that Mark's Work Wearhouse is more than just boots and uniforms and clothing for working outside. I've shopped there for myself a little (one of my FAVOURITE pairs of PJs is from there) and Eric has quite a bit of his clothing from there.

I like them enough that a month or two ago when I drove by two stores and their signs were coming down I was in a bit of a panic and ran to twitter to find out what was going on!! Fiouf - just a rebrand... their signs quickly went back up as Mark's.

Because really, Mark's Work Wearhouse really isn't the right name any more. Their store is full of fabulous and fashionable clothing for women and men, on top of their workhorse clothing.

And Mark's is all about innovations that are handy for everyone! Hello? Ironfree clothing - count us in! Salt resistant boots for Ottawa is pretty much genius, and so is their tmax insulation, because sadly we live in a city that often goes to very depressingly low temperatures. Also, shape retention and 100 wash clothing - fabulous! A few other cool things I didn't know they did - you can get an appointment with a personal shopper to come and help you pick out clothing FOR FREE! And you can have at home shopping parties where they bring the clothing to you, and like all at home parties, the hostess gets some extra goodies for themselves towards their own purchases.

They also have fun stations around the store to test out their clothing and... entertain the customers :)

Test out that footwear!

How well is that winter gear you're about to buy going to hold up to our winters?
Test it out (tip - do NOT got in in a tshirt. brr)

They invited a bunch of bloggers marksovers in one of the newly branded Ottawa stores and I was super excited to get to attend! What I didn't expect was that so much would fit me. As thrilled as I was to head to this makeover there was this part of me that was nervous - they didn't ask me what size I wear, can they accommodate someone in a size bigger than a 14 or 16? I knew I had PJs that fit, but stretchy pjs and pants are two completely different things. And I admit I haven't tried to find anything for myself since pre-pregnancy days at Mark's. They go up to 18-20 in the pants and XXL in many things (although I was pleased to find myself in XL and not XXL).

The experience itself was stellar. We got pampered - makeup, hair, personal stylist. And then a photoshoot - all making us feel like a million bucks. That was something this mama really needed! And I requested an outfit that was easy to care for, comfortable, but also something I could go out with (not just the yoga pant/tshirt combo). I love love my outfit down to the little heels that go with it.

Thank you so much Mark's for a great day and for making me realize you're a store I need to be shopping at more often!

Four

2010-09-12T22:55:00.003-04:00

I can't believe he's four. He goes to school - every day, all day. He has long (ohhh how they are long) and complicated conversations. He remembers SO much! He loves his brother and sister. He still loves to give hugs and kisses. He still likes to sit on my knee, although it's too annoying to stand because he never stops moving.

He went from this

to this:

in a heartbeat.

Sometimes I wish it would slow down. But mostly, I am honoured to get to witness him live and grow.

Happy birthday to the most amazing four year old I know :) (no offense to all the other fabulous four year olds ;)

Meal Plan - week 1

2010-09-12T21:09:00.007-04:00

Over at Losing it in Ottawa I promised I would put together a full meal plan for this week and post it on my blog. So here it is! A bunch are new recipes, I'll let you know how they turn out.

Dirty rice is an easy throw it all together meal I've made many times over the years and I made Tinbuktuna for the first time last week and it was the only week all meal the entire family ate. If for that alone, I will make it weekly from now on if I need to ;)

Also, I'm having a giveaway over on my Losing it Post - so go check it out!

I have no idea why the table is way the heck down the post so... scroll down wouldya? :)

	Breakfast	Lunch	Dinner
Monday	Waffles	flavoured tuna & cucumber on pita	The thigh who loved me Crazy Plates, pg 97
Tuesday	Crumpet and peanut butter	tv dinner (weight watchers or lean cuisine)	Timbuktuna
Wednesday	Waffles	Ham and cheese eggs	Out for dinner
Thursday	Cereal	ham sandwich	Sizzling Sesame Shrimp
Friday	Crumpet and peanut butter	tuna sandwich	Dirty Rice
Saturday	waffles	Nephew's birthday fingers crossed	Loafstyles of the Rich and Famous Turkey meatloaf - Looney Spoons pg 92
Sunday	cereal	pancakes and eggs	Beef stew

365 update - the one where I almost quit

2010-09-09T22:23:00.005-04:00

I almost quit 365 this week. In fact, I almost quit 365 on day 100.

Why? Because I found myself struggling to take a photo every day. Some days I had many great ones, but all too often I was taking a photo of a wall in my house at 11 at night just to say I took something. For some reason I am stuck on the fact that the photo NEEDS to be from the day it's supposed to be from - no fudging. And if I can't do that, I may as well quit.

Day 100 was the worst. I pathetically took a photo at 11ish with my iphone - too lazy to go out to the van to get my real camera.

In case you missed it, the muffins say 100 - but I can't take credit for that, Angela helped me figure out SOMETHING. You know, at 11 at night.

The next morning I had pretty much decided to quit. But, I am a tweeter. I tweeted my intent. And I was talked out of it :)

Apparently some of you like looking at my photos? (oh look, she's blatantly asking for praise ;) I'm told the lame photos are more than made up for by the good ones. And I admit that being forced to pick up my camera (almost) daily has made for some photos I probably never would have gotten otherwise.

I think it's been too long for me to go through ALL the photos I took since my last update post, so instead here are some of my favourites:

Juliette - the personality pours out of every pore

Quinn - could he look any more pleased with himself?

Kiernan - sitting in the tall grass at Eric's family's farm

We drive to get the babies to sleep a lot. Now I stop and take photos

Kiernan at the MacKenzie King Estate

First day of school. First day on the bus. Big big day

Happy boys in a cow train

I am very proud of this one. There are others from the set here if you're interested.

The day I didn't quit (day 101)

I guess I'm glad I didn't quit :)

First day of school

2010-09-02T23:03:00.005-04:00

Today Kiernan went to school. For the whole day by himself! Like the totally big boy that he is; even when Mommy wants to live in denial.

We've been talking about school for a long time. Months and months. And he was excited! But this past week he started getting hesitant. He was more shy than I think I'd ever seen him during the one on one interview with the teacher and that kind of threw me off.

Then he announced he didn't want to go to school - he was afraid of his teachers, he told me. And he didn't want to take the school bus.

Hm.

In the end, I thought it would be good for him to take the bus so we convinced him to take the bus but that we would be at school to meet him and make sure it went well. We got him all ready, put on his big backpack.

Then we removed his big backpack, took out about half the stuff he needed to take for his first day and put it in a separate bag that I brought for him. Man they need a lot of stuff!

Then we put the backpack back on and walked to the corner to meet the bus.

It was a very emotional moment, I must admit. But he got on no problem and off to school he went. And we rushed back home, got the twins in the car and headed over to the school. Where we had to wait a good 10-15 minutes for the bus to arrive. After about five minutes my anxiety started building, because you know, obviously something happened to the bus in the tiny distance it had to go ;)

But finally it arrived and I could see that there was an older girl on the bus helping him put his backpack back on and he got off the bus happy and told me the bus was fun. Yay! Success!

We went into the school and started walking towards his class when he said "so we're going to meet the teacher?" uh oh. I told him no, he was going to be staying there for the day and he started to whine and say he wanted to go home. The instant he saw the teacher he threw himself behind me and started to sob. oh boy.

After about 5 minutes of sobbing and talking I got him into the classroom and got his bag on his hook and the teacher said she'd take over. Ok. I knew it was the right thing to do so I left my sobbing baby with this stranger at SCHOOL. And then I peered in the window on the other side of the classroom as I left and saw him standing there holding the teacher's hand sobbing. And it sucked my friends, it sucked.

But I left and I tried to relax and I went home. And I reminded myself that Kiernan is good in new situations, that he's social and he's smart and he could deal with being at school. And I convinced myself it was true - lord help me if I hadn't been able to, I would have spent the day crying in the dark or something.

I went out to meet the bus early, just in case. And the bus pulled up and no Kiernan came out. And the bus driver called for him and .... nothin'. So I got on the bus and I found Kiernan disoriented with a paper crown over his face - he'd fallen asleep on the bus ride home after a long and tiring day of school :)

And as we walked home with him in his paper crown and sporting a new tshirt with the picture of his new school mascot over the one he was already wearing he told me that he'd had a good day and school was fun. And he told me that he cried in the morning because he thought he didn't want to go to school. But actually, he did want to go to school. And that made me a very happy mommy indeed.

The one where the mama can't believe her baby is starting school tomorrow

2010-09-01T21:34:00.005-04:00

Tomorrow my baby...

this one:

or maybe this one:

ok... actually this one...

is going to don his flashing spiderman backpack and his flashing firebolt sketchers and start kindergarden....

... and this mama's nerves are completely on edge.

How did my baby get to be old enough to start school?!

I am nervous for him because I know it won't always be easy. I am nervous for him because I never liked school and it was a long long road for me to get through. I hope for him that this will be a good experience. I hope for him that he will make friends and learn French quickly. I hope he will be happy and I hope he has fun.

And I hope I make it through tomorrow without ending up at the school trying to peer through windows making sure he's ok ;)

Seeking nursing advice

2010-08-23T21:49:00.003-04:00

I am still nursing my 15 month old twins. I am happy to still be doing that and have no huge desire to start the weaning process. EXCEPT

In the last few weeks Juliette has learned to ask. The first time she did it I was tickled - it was so cute. I always use a pillow when I nurse so she would find a pillow and drag it over to me. Tiny girl dragging big pillow. CUTE

But now, she does it like 5 million times a day. And when I say no she stomps her feet, throws herself to the floor and has a full on temper tantrum. SO frustrating! She also freaks out if I don't nurse her as soon as she wakes up in the morning (which is fine with me) and as soon as she wakes up from her nap (which I'm not keen on).

Kiernan weaned himself at 11 months after we worked on bottle feeding for me to go back to work. I never anticipated the demands to suddenly get higher. And she doesn't want to stop nursing either - she wants to hang on for eons. She's not a newborn - I'm not down with the marathon nursing anymore.

SO. Do I expect she'll start giving up as I continue saying no? Is this common for some children who nurse longer? Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?

I obviously know it's not the same for all children - Quinn never asks and the only time he freaks out is if Eric goes to him and not me in the middle of the night.

When she acts this way repeatedly it makes me think I'm going to need to cut her off, and that makes me sad. I don't think I'm ready to be done nursing forever yet.

365 update - the really late so lots of photos version

2010-08-22T08:02:00.002-04:00

Wow am I ever overdue with this post. So much so I think I'm only going to post one alternate photo, although there are many many many

Day 64
Quinn at MiniPort at Place d'Orleans. Right before I was told NO PHOTOS AT MINIPORT. Oops. And also one of the first photos taken on my new Kodak point and shoot.

Day 65
Taken on my iPhone at Millenium park

Day 66
New York City - during the Kodak bus tour

Day 67
Three bridges - Brooklyn, Manhattan and something that starts with W, in NYC :)

Day 68
Walking in NYC

Day 69
Memorial to John Lenon in Central Park

Day 70
Roanen in the splash park in Queenswood Heights. I really love this photo. Something screams fun to me.

Day 71
Babies exploring the funny "ruins" at Strathcona park

Day 72
Building at Papanack zoo.

Day 73
Dragonfly on the road seen during a walk up at the cottage

Day 74
Juliette

Day 75
Eric and I went on our first date night since before Christmas and had all you can eat sushi. YUMMO!

Day 76
11pm and no photo of the day. This drawing means a lot to me, I brought it home when I lived in korea and really treasure it.

Day 77
Sleepy and sweaty at the cottage

Day 78
Splash pad at Storyland.

Day 79
Tristan and Kiernan on the boardwalk in Pembroke

Day 80
Taken from the car at a stop light on my way to a meeting. Some days you just squeak these photos in.

Day 81
Water is such an interesting subject!

Day 82
What a cutie eh? In her Loopy 4 Ewe hat.

Alternate
All 6 cousins smiling! Juliette in a beam of angelic light ;)

Six word Friday - the best

2010-08-20T08:56:00.002-04:00

Tight arms wrapped around my neck.
Warm cheeks pressed into my shoulder.
Love, happiness, strength, trust, comfort. Family.
It's the best feeling in the world.

Frollicking in the rain...

2010-08-19T16:22:00.002-04:00

Maybe when my mother in law told me it had been raining all afternoon in Renfrew
Or maybe when I walked out the door and hit a wall of humidity
Or maybe when I looked up at the sky and started to hear rumblings in the sky...
I would have thought I had picked the wrong time to go for a walk.

But I was determined! I was going to workout, I wasn't going to let silly excuses slow me down.

And workout I did - as I ran all the way home, in pants too big that needed to be tugged up every 30 seconds, with burning lungs, through a downpour with shrieking giggling twins in the stroller.

Good news: I can log a totally unintentional jog into this week's Losing it exercise regime!

Now I need a nap. And a pizza.

15 months old

2010-08-14T16:03:00.004-04:00

The babies are 15 months old and man oh man are they a lot of work!!

Kiernan was in daycare by the time he was a year so I'm not used to running after a 15 month old 7 days a week, let alone 2. And THESE 15 month olds - GET INTO EVERYTHING!

If you have any advice on how to get them to stop climbing, throwing, opening, touching EVERYTHING, let me know. We still have them in the jumperoo and exersaucer (when they'll let us) just to have a break from them touching EVERYTHING constantly. The playroom is a godsend but they only want to be in there so much. yanno?

I think I'm going to sign them up for Gymboree in September and have LOTS and LOTS of activities planned. Also, slowly friends are threatening to go back to work. Not cool friends, not cool ;)

As for what they're doing

Quinn

- Saying most "hi" "up" "tata" "dada" and "lala" (or la-ya) Lala is me. I think that may be a post in and of itself. And we think he's starting to say Juliette.
- Starting to walk. He walked across the room the other day, so he can do it. But he is still
choosing to crawl most of the time- often like a bear with his bum up in the air.
- Still super huggy. He comes up to you and simply lays his head on your lap for a cuddle. Or hangs on with so much might you could drown in those hugs. They are awesome.

Juliette

- Saying "hi" "bye bye" "mommy" "night night" "no" or rather "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO"
- brings books (but doesn't want to read them)
- has started to request nursing more and more by dragging a pillow to me. This is very cute the first few times but starting to get frustrating as I'm pretty sure a 15 month old doesn't need to nurse all day.

They both
- climb. oh they climb. We've had to rescue them from perilous situations and I don't like it one bit. (That slide below? Q got up there before I noticed! He was so high I couldn't reach him from the ground. Thank god for six year old cousins who take their jobs of helping very seriously)
- they interact so sweetly together, waving hello when they see each other and hugging and kissing. They also smack each other over the head with toys, so, you know... it goes both ways.

Losing it in Ottawa

2010-08-14T06:44:00.002-04:00

If you've known me for long you probably know I struggle with my weight. I'm up and down and generally far heavier than I want/ought to be.

But I'm ready to take the bull by the horns, and to do that a group of five other bloggers and I have started a new blog called Losing it in Ottawa.

Head over and check it out. I'm the sixth and final blogger and my post is up today so have a look at my post and then go back and check out all the other girl's intro posts.

We'd love to have your support, and if you've been struggling with your weight, we'd love if you came along for the ride!

Wish me luck!

Six word Friday - This much I know

2010-08-13T07:52:00.002-04:00

Some days I could give up

Some days I could try harder

But I am remembering to pause

The joys are many and plentiful

I appreciate how lucky I am

And love makes it all worthwhile

BlogHer '10 - community of awesome

2010-08-11T15:13:00.007-04:00

The number one reason that I went to BlogHer was not to grow my blog, or monetize it, or learn what" I should do next". The number one reason that I went was that blogging has made me feel like I'm part of something. A secret sisterhood? A cool club? I don't know what exactly to call it, but bloggers, and moms within social media, they support each other and I think it's awesome!

Twitter has only increased that feeling, exponentially, for me. The bloggers and moms I was becoming friends with through blogs now honestly feel like IRL friends (and some have become so). Twitter makes me feel like I always have someone to go to in times of need.

And while I was at BlogHer, I had a bit of a time of need. After 3 days away from my unweaned twins, and many attempts at pumping with the borrowed breast pump I brought with me (I don't generally pump so I don't have an operational pump that I know and count on) I was uncomfortable, to say the least.

I was getting engorged, and I was feeling a blocked duct on the way. And I wasn't sure what else to do other than what I was doing. BlogHer is super supportive of moms and even had a Lansinoh sponsored lactation lounge, but it wasn't constantly manned and the time I stopped in it was empty.

So, I did was social media types (who are apparently comfortable with putting it ALL out there into the web-o-sphere) do and I tweeted:

Anyone with pumping help/advice available to help me out today at #BlogHer10 #bf? #ireallymissmyunweanedtwinsless than a minute ago via Echofonglidinglara
glidinglara

I expected and hoped someone might respond. Within minutes I got more than I ever anticipated! And the only person who really was on my list when this started was @PhDinparenting - the rest came about because of ReTweeting.

@glidinglara What kind of help do you need? Have you been to Lanisoh lactation lounge? #blogher10less than a minute ago via TweetChatphdinparenting
phdinparenting

@glidinglara what kind of help? try to find @thienkim she is bfing mom, there is also a lactation lounge somewhereless than a minute ago via TwitterRideElita
Blacktating

@glidinglara what kind of help do you need? I'm a seasoned pumper.less than a minute ago via EchofonTheFeministBreeder
FeministBreeder

@Blacktating @glidinglara I'm not at the hilton right now but go to the mother's room. @GinaAtLansinoh is there to help. I'll be back soonless than a minute ago via TweetCasterThien-Kim Lam
thienkim

@glidinglara I have a Hygeia pump with me - do you have your own horns? I'll let you use mine and show you how. Let me know.less than a minute ago via EchofonTheFeministBreeder
FeministBreeder

@glidinglara Hi! How can I help?less than a minute ago via UberTwitterBettina Forbes
BestforBabes

And there were more! Within minutes a swarm of help was within reach. I was tweeting back and forth with people, and I knew that if I went back to the lactation lounge right away I would find someone to help me.

And I did! @ginaatlansinoh was there from @lansinohusa, along with a couple of other women (I unfortunately didn't catch their names) and they gave me some excellent advice. I walked in thinking this was a total shot in the dark... what else could they tell me other than keep on pumping?

Well, they knew I'd probably been rushing (which was true) and I was "sternly" told I needed to spend no less than 45 minutes sitting and relaxing to get anywhere.

Other helpful suggestions like a hot shower, photos of my kids, and just letting my mind relax were all great too. And the kicker, they gave me a brand new pump to use (and keep) because I had a one sided pump and they knew that a double pump would increase my chances at being successful.

Within an hour I was on my way up to my hotel room with a new breast pump and a plan. After 45 minutes (I did it... it was boring... but I did it :) I had pumped more milk than I had in every other pumping session put together since I'd arrived in New York City.

The pump worked marvelously. It was a Lansinoh Affinity. I admit to having somehow become a Medala snob over time, but this pump was smaller than any double pump I'd encountered with Medela and worked really well! I recommend checking it out if you're in the market for a pump.

And not only did I walk away from the experience more comfortable because the problem had been solved, I was on a high from the amazing things that social media does. Within minutes of me asking for help I was on my way to having a solution, and I felt SO supported.

And THAT is what I wanted from BlogHer. And I totally got it.

BlogHer '10

2010-08-10T07:59:00.006-04:00

I have one word to describe my experience this past week attending BlogHer in New York City - AMAZING!

It was amazing for many reasons.

- The company I kept was amazing; I had such a good time hanging out and relaxing with Brie, Anna, Barbara and Shannon. Not to mention the rest of the Ottawa crew.

- I met the three bloggers I hoped to meet:

Nora from Non Linear has twins less than two weeks in age difference than mine and I've been following her since before we had the babies. I loved meeting her in person and only wish we'd managed to chat a bit more and in a quieter environment (I'm starting to think I'm losing my hearing this past week!) She moderated my favourite session of the conference too and I think she should give herself an enormous pat on the back for coming up with the concept with two other bloggers - it was obviously a huge need!

The Bloggess - I was nervous, but I introduced myself (twice!) More on that later. :)

The Pioneer Woman - I was happy with just a sighting with her, but instead I got to meet her briefly and take a photo of her with a friend. I slightly regret not jumping in and getting one for myself at the same time. I think I didn't want to be greedy after all my Bloggess luck ;)

- Being away from my family was a well needed break. I needed to be away, to detach, to have some time to just be me without having to worry about taking care of anyone else. In fact, my friends were taking care of me a bit - it was nice.

- The conference was a ton of fun. The sessions I attended were very interesting, the parties were lots of fun, and there were moments when the spirit and community surrounding me floored me it was so incredible. I left feeling inspired to do more.

- I got to see a fabulous city on 3 different tours. Considering how little time I had to explore, this was definitely the best way to see the most as quickly as possible.

- I got some lovely things. The swag was hardly the reason to go. Was I happy to get it - sure. I will post soon on some of the things I experienced with sponsors.

Were there down points? Sure.

- my husband and kids were not in the greatest shape when I left and that caused some anxiety and guilt for me.

- I was disappointed at how difficult it was to meet new people. I felt that people were happy to stay with the people they knew. Or, the chances of randomly meeting someone of like interests weren't always very high. I think a few changes should be made to facilitate shy-er and smaller bloggers in meeting new people.

Overall, I had a wonderful time and I dream of figuring out how to make it to San Diego. :)

And now, a few photos !

Walking around before our Kodak Tour

In Times Square - you were being projected onto the screen from the street live.

A few shots from our Kodak Bus tour.

At the schick intuition party.

At the Cheeseburgher party

We all went for breakfast together before going on our separate ways to start heading home and got our photo in front of the LOVE sign

Barbara and I hired a peddy cab to take us on a tour of Central Park. Definitely worth the cost for the limited time we had left before catching our flights home!

365 project - splash pads and fairs and splash pads

2010-08-03T07:56:00.002-04:00

This summer has been packed full of fun outings, parks, museums, splash pads, fairs etc. I think this was potentially the best July I can remember having in.... well... a LONG time. Tell me these kids don't look like they get to have a lot of fun? :)

Day 56
Brothers in a tunnel... tunnel is part of the Kids in the Capital photo scavenger hunt :)

Day 57
This past week we discovered Juliette's love of splash pads. We went three times in the last week - she adores it!

Day 58
Museum of Science and technology and Juliette and Quinn's first time in the the famous car.

Day 59
My lovely mother's helper, my summer's godsend, got a dslr for the 16th birthday. Lucky girl!

Day 60
Jumping on rocks at the park

Day 61
This old church is near Almonte and I have admired it for years. I love this photo - I think it's my favourite photo of the week and want to print it, frame it, and put it up somewhere in my house.

Day 62
Splash pad joy part 2

Day 63
Ducks at the fair

Outtakes

A garden window in my husband's aunt's garden.

Chickens!

My mother's helper :) Pretty girl!

Fair signs

Eric and Kiernan

Juliette at the splash pad for the 3rd time. In case you're wondering why she's always wearing full clothing - she still falls alot and the concrete seems safer with clothing than a bathing suit :)

A blog reading makeover!

2010-08-01T23:00:00.003-04:00

Many many moons ago, when I first discovered the world of blogs I had a bookmark folder in my browser that opened all of my favourite blogs in one go if I asked it to. That's right, I actually visited every blog that I was a regular reader of to see if there were new posts - daily.

It's kind of hard to imagine reading blogs that way now, now that I've been a regular user of rss (bloglines is my choice) for quite a few years now. Except that my bloglines has gotten completely out of control. I open it, see that I have 7 million new blog posts to read and then see if there is anything showing in my "favourite" blogs and go visit them. More and more often I'm noticing that I'm just going to the blog posts that are coming out and grabbing me - through twitter or facebook.

Which makes me realize it's time for a blog reading makeover! So here's what I'm going to do :

1) Ask for your help:
I would really love your input:

- what do you use to read blogs? Bloglines? Google reader? Something else? Why? Maybe I need to try something new!

- Do you feel you know me from reading my blog? Would you recommend any blogs you think would be up my alley? Share the links!

2) Return the favour by telling you about a few of my favourite blogs.

I will preface this by saying that at the moment the blogs I read are almost exclusively those of people I've met in real life. The exception are blogs of moms with twins approximately the same age as mine - I seem to really need a personal connection with bloggers at the moment to really invest myself.

Here are a few of many (please don't feel bad if I left you out, I may simply have to do a couple editions of this ;)

Capital Mom - my partner in Kids in the Capital and a poetic blogger about her life with two young children. The good and the hard.

Life on the Roof - She was the first blog friend I met in real life but even before I met her I felt like I knew her. She's real and she's crafty and she's always welcome to come for a visit :)

Nonlinear Girl - She has boy/girl twins just a few weeks in age difference from mine so I love to read about how they're doing. But she is also a great writer and takes beautiful photos.

Some Kind of Wondermom - My Apples'n'Oranges partner, she writes about being a mom to two young children and all that that entails.

The View from Her(e) - a new in real life friend brought to me by the internets as well as the small world that is Ottawa. She just started a new blog and she shares my love of photography (not to mention takes beautiful photos!)

Go and visit them, and then tell me where you think I should go visiting! I can't wait!

Blogher 2010 here I come!

2010-07-31T08:40:00.004-04:00

Did you know I'm going to BlogHer?!!

I'm not sure why I've never mentioned it here, but with less than a week to go the excitement is really buzzing and I am over the moon with anticipation for this trip.

I know it gets tiresome for those of you who aren't going to hear all the pre-BlogHer, during BlogHer, post BlogHer goings on by everyone, but to you I say - COME NEXT YEAR!

I've been wanting to go to BlogHer since Kiernan was a baby and this year, with a few friends already going, I decided I wasn't going to hold back ANY MORE. And I think it was the perfect timing for me. I'm a little too shy to have been totally comfortable joining in to things all on my own amidst literally thousands of bloggers! Instead, with my little crew (you guys don't being called my crew do you?) I will have the confidence I need to delve right in (I think I'm going to be WAY less nervous doing this than I was on the photo walk - but we'll see :)

I'm excited about the sessions, I'm excited about the parties, I'm excited about meeting bloggers I've never met before, I'm excited to feel the buzz I know will be in the air and (gasp) I'm excited to see what kind of free stuff I get!

I will not be crushed if I don't get to meet my two blogger superstars - Jenny the Bloggess and Pioneer Woman. In fact, I've resigned myself to the fact that they are going to be totally and completely overwhelmed with people wanting to meet them anyways and I'll probably be so shy I'd be mortified by my behaviour so I'm going to try admire from afar.

I will not be crushed if I don't get invited to private parties - but I may try to find out how people got invites so I can get invited in the future.

I will not beat anyone down for swag. I will not be crushed if I don't get swag. If I come home with some cool free stuff - awesome!

I have super cute business cards to hand out thanks to Tiny Prints - I have a hard time believing I'll need 200 but I'm game to try to meet that many people!

I'm bringing my phone and likely my laptop, so I will be online (nobody will tell me I'm being online too much at a blogging conference right?) - at least on twitter.

And if you're going, message me - I want to meet up with you!

PS I am leaving my non-weaned babies. I waiver from totally confident to totally anxious about this. Fingers crossed it goes well because I want to go to Blissdom Canada :)

Quiet down, peanut gallery

2010-07-29T20:51:00.003-04:00

So, they aren't exactly a peanut gallery...

... but their unwelcome input is making my life difficult.

Kiernan has found an audience. And audience that thinks he is HILARIOUS! It's hilarious when he shrieks really loudly, when he jumps on the furniture, when he runs around like he's on speed bumping into walls and crashing into furniture, when he plays with his food, when he slides off his chair and under the table throughout dinner, and when he's a bit too rough with the babies ( "but they LIKE it").

I like to get a laugh out of a crowd. I like to be the center of attention too, so I get it. I do. But it is driving me insane!! And I don't know how to stop it. I can't exactly stop the babies from laughing... and Kiernan's need for the spotlight is just too great to hear anything else.

So for now I'm just trying to hold my own through the chaos. And I'm trying really hard to not let him see that I'm often laughing too.

365 update - passing my first big milestone

2010-07-26T00:21:00.004-04:00

I made it past my first big milestone - 50! Only 315 more photos to go after that! ;) And I hit a bit of a funk around 50... feeling like some of my inspiration was gone. But then I went on the Worldwide photo walk and chatted with other photographers... and got some good ideas for how to find inspiration. So hopefully you'll see some new and different ideas in the coming weeks. "or not"

Day 45
This is one of my favourites of Juliette in quite awhile. A great smile and she was having the time of her life in Mieka's pool.

Day 46
House detail. Anyone want to guess what/where? ;)

Day 47
My birthday! I got a gorillapod which has been fun to play with and means I can be in some of the photos.

Day 48
A fellow photographer. I always like not being the only one with a camera.

Day 49
Another successful trip to the Aviation museum

Day 50
The fence at the Children's Garden on Main where we had a Kids in the Capital playdate last week.

Day 51
Another gorillapod shot. I bought a remote after this... although there was some fun involved here. I had the gorillapod attached to the play structure, would hit the button to start the timer, quickly slide down the slide and get into position :)

Day 52
I grew something in my garden. And I ate it! And it was delicious!!

Day 53
I bought a remote and was playing around with toys. I look tired. Or maybe it's eye look tired :)

Day 54
This photo cracks me up!

Day 55
Kiernan always has a blast with his cousins, and sunny days at the cottage with them are even better!

Outtakes

Baby footprints

Quinn

Fun in the mud

Some of my favourite shots from the Worldwide Photo Walk that I went on which was a lot of fun if a bit scary and intimidating ;)

When you do what you gotta do even if you don't want to

2010-07-23T23:34:00.003-04:00

I'm holding on. Holding on for dear life. And I think it's making me crazy.

I always felt that while I was home with my kids I could still hold on to me stuff. I want to have time to quietly sit and drink a coffee and check some blogs when I first wake up. I resent the kids for not letting me have it.

I want to have time to work on my resume, to look for work, etc during the day, and the kids won't let me do it. They want me to play with them all day long, and I don't really want to do it. But that's not fair to them.

And we're all getting frustrated and we're all having temper tantrums.

I need to let go and go with the flow that they are requiring. They are one and they need to be entertained. I can't expect them to take care of themselves while I clean, do crafts, blog, etc... no matter how much I want them to. And they deserve more.

We are going to need a new "world order". I am going to need to create a routine. Playtime, parktime, playdate time, lunchtime, nap time, library time, etc. If I schedule it, if I make it more about them, I think it will get easier.

I don't want to let go... but we may all breathe a bit easier if I do.

Six word Friday : Together

2010-07-23T20:44:00.002-04:00

Together you three sound like twenty

Together you play as siblings should

Together you make a godawful mess

Together your giggles sound like music

Together you fill my heart completely

Together you push all my buttons

Together we will conquer the world

This was my first six words Friday and it was fun!

Green bin woes

2010-07-22T20:33:00.005-04:00

I was super excited when they brought the green bin program to Ottawa and couldn't wait to start using it.

I scoffed at the paper bags that people used in their bins... it was just a big garbage can, why bother with lining it. And it was fine... if a big gunky... all winter long.

And then, just like it was predicted, things started changing when we hit summer. And one word, a word that had a connotation that I think is even worse than their actuality, was my final straw with how I felt about the green bin.

The day Eric came inside to tell me the green bin was crawling with maggots was the day I started wanting to throw my "green bin-able" items back in the garbage. And despite Eric trying to clean the bin and trying to kill the maggots with salt, the day I opened the garage and found it full of hundreds of flies, I had a temper tantrum.

Not to mention the smell. Oh, the smell in the garage was unbearable.

Last week we decided to hire Bin Aces to come and clean the bin. I'd heard about them in a blog post months and months ago (possibly this one or this one ) and because our bin was SO DISGUSTING, we decided to spend the price to do it once. The alternative was getting inside the sludgy maggoting disgusting bin. I'd pay $15 to avoid that! The idea was that we were going to then put away the bin until the heat isn't so bad.

This morning I went outside and not only was our bin clean, it smelled GOOD! (my only small complaint was that the web site said they would be calling up to set up a time they would come and they never did that. Good thing I left the bin outside just in case.) I'm halfway tempted to actually try the bags and see how it goes instead of giving up entirely on the bin.

Some people suggest things like freezing the stuff until garbage day, but I really don't need that as an added task every week.

How are you dealing with the green bin? Are you using it? Are the maggots trying to take over your house too?

Rollin' rollin' roll-oops!

2010-07-20T22:18:00.006-04:00

I am no athlete, by any stretch of the imagination, so when I don my rollerblades (very rarely, but that is neither here nor there) I have no style or grace.

As I skate along, I often gain a bit more speed than I intended... I imagine I'm leaning too far forward. Once past a certain speed, I have no clue how to stop so I use two tactics:

1) fall in a planned and non-injuring way
2) grab on to something until stable again

And apparently it's almost identical to learning to walk/run... except it's WAY cuter to watch in a baby :) And the determination and enthusiasm is unmatched.

twin update - 14 months

2010-07-18T22:53:00.006-04:00

I haven't blogged up an update about what the twins are up to in eons. In fact, I missed their first birthday which is practically unforgivable and in time I may go back and so that because, wow, that's a big one to skip. So instead I give you...

14 months, 1 week update!

Juliette

- started walking at 13 months and is now running
- is starting to talk more and more. hi, mommy, and tata are still the main words but we're also starting to get no, bye bye, night night, ninnin (kiernan) and nin (quinn)
- she is getting violent and likes to hit with things a lot. This morning I heard a particularly distressed squawk from Quinn only to find Juliette POUNDING him over the head with a wooden puzzle
- she's a great eater
- she is sleeping through the night 90% of the time (7pm to 5-6am)
- she is a climber and is constantly trying to scale whatever she finds. I think I need to enroll her in gymboree or something.
- thinks that her big brother is the best person ever

Quinn

- has no real desire to start walking, although, I do see that he is starting to want us to walk him around holding his hands.
- is saying hi, tata and dada. and possibly trying to say juliette with some jjjjj jjjjj jjjjj sounds
- obsessed with buttons and gets REALLY mad when you don't let him play with a remote, phone or cellphone. And whatever he is playing better well DO something, and not be a fake.
- he's always exploring and opening cupboards, drawers and taking off to see the sights whenever we let him out of the stroller at parks, museums, etc
- thinks his big brother is the most hilarious person ever
- is waking up most nights, but only once.
- likes trying to figure out things. He is always trying to figure out how toys work or how to put his seatbelt on.

This is pretty much what Juliette looks like to me most of the time.

Awww cute photo. Except he's trying to get down. So he can explore!!!

She is so brave in the water, shockingly, because she is the one who makes the most fuss about baths.

Check out what I found in these drawers!

Here fishy fishy

2010-07-18T21:27:00.004-04:00

He may not be a natural fish, but despite his fears he's been having a lot of fun in the water this summer.

Today he clung to my back as I went into deep water, let me lay him on his stomach while he kicked around, and by the end was proud of himself for what he had accomplished and not being scared.

And most importantly, he loved every second.

Tips for eating

2010-07-15T23:21:00.005-04:00

by Juliette and Quinn

Don't trust food you don't recognize - throw it on the floor.
If you want mom to think you ate your food so you can get something different, hide it under your bum when she's not looking. Added perk - snacks in your clothing for later.
If you don't want something, drop it onto your twin's tray, maybe they'll like it (or they might throw it on the floor or hide it under their bum). Either way, it's gone.
Food makes excellent hair gel, check out my fauhawk.
When a parent tells you to stop throwing food on the floor, grin really big and then drop food on the floor in slow motion. Watch parent's head explode for amusement.
Bibs are for chumps. To ensure your parents don't even bother any more, make sure to get food on any area of your body the bid doesn't cover and for good measure under the bib. Full armed bibs are a challenge but don't forget tip #2.
When you are done your tray should not have any food on it. If you're tired of throwing the food off the tray, feel free to crush the food into crumbs and then sweep it around until the crumbs fly all around the kitchen.
You win.

365 project - who made the rules around here?

2010-07-15T10:07:00.002-04:00

Of course, *I* made the rules, but there are some days I wish I was more flexible with them. But I'm not. I'm realizing that I am way more of a rule follower than I think I pretend to be. Or maybe I don't even pretend. I like to follow the rules. BORRRING ;)

Some days I have 5 photos I wish I could use, some days none. This makes me think I would really love to do the 1000 photo project Dani (who is doing some fabulous guest posting for the Canadian Family blog and doing giveaways for subscriptions to the magazine) is doing after this one. But I also think the 365 project is good at making sure you pick up your camera every day, so I'm sticking with it! I'm a whole 44 days in. That's like 12% done! :)

Day 36
She's been walking for about a month now and she still gets this look of sheer excitement when she really gets going... especially to a new place to explore!

Day 37
Blog out loud was so awesome. I really need to be less shy with my camera though. Although I like this photo, it's almost the only one I took. And I took it as unobtrusively as possible. Because obviously everyone was going to look at me like I was an alien if I was taking photos at the event right? When I was there with a photo book. Right. #getoveritLara

Day 38
The joys of playing with a hose.

Day 39
An outing to the airplane museum. Kiernan shown with the girl who has ensured I haven't moved into the attic or the shed or something equally coo coo because I would have LOST MY MIND with the crazies of this summer ;) If you can swing it, get a mother's helper, they are the best!

Day 40
At the Smiths Falls railway museum. (Post coming up this weekend on Kids in the Capital)
The textures of the old trains were fascinating. And it was quiet enough I didn't even feel self conscious lying on the ground in the parking lot taking photos ;)

Day 41
The Cumberland museum is NOT WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS!
So, in my head, the Cumberland museum was an old house with some period furniture. BOORRING.
But it's like a miniature Upper Canada Village (kind of wish I'd gone here instead last year with my 3 very young children!) and I can't wait to go back for more!
My camera battery died 15 minutes in. I almost cried.

Day 42
Monkey.

Day 43
This was the best photo I took this day. SAD. I apparently spent too much time playing around with my camera and getting things wrong because I had a lot of blurry and out of focus photos and .... this. Ah well, he's always cute no matter how boring the photo.

Day 44
This boy LOVES buttons, phones, gadgets, etc. And he can't be fooled with a toy or electronic that doesn't DO anything. I let him play with my iPhone, only because it thrills him every time the screen lights up and he can't unlock it. YET

Outtakes

Quinn has changed in the last couple of weeks. He looks a lot older all of a sudden.

More texture from the Smiths Falls railway museum

Along the Queensway

More airplane museum - I often struggle between interesting photography as my choice of the day, and a photo that includes my kids and are part of the telling of the story of 365 days of my life.

Things growing in my garden delight me beyond measure

The one where French made his head explode

2010-07-11T22:47:00.006-04:00

We're sending Kiernan to French school this Fall. Not immersion but full on French school.

Kiernan speaks no French. He could count to 7 but that hardly seemed adequate for starting school in French. Being thrown into the deep end was essentially how I learned, but I had a bit more experience. French sitters, living in Quebec, etc... all gave me a BIT of a start.

So, to help him get ready we put him into a 5 week French school/camp. They only speak French to him and hopefully by the end of it he'll at least have enough comprehension to not feel completely lost when he starts FULL day school in September.

I was extremely nervous for him on his first day, but he did so well! And he never makes a fuss about not wanting to go, which really surprised me.

So far, he claims to have learned nothing, but I'm pretty sure there is a lot going on inside his head and it will soon turn itself into something we can actually see language wise.

For now, the biggest result of 5 day a week French camp seems to be.... a completely nutzoid Kiernan!

My tendency is to blame the fact that he has been so stimulated by everything that he's learning that his brain is just on constant overdrive. Overdrive as in his brain... and his mouth... NEVER stop working. It is stream of conscience verbal diarrhea. It is beyond irritating.

But not only that! He also has this excess of physical energy. He runs around like a chicken with it's head cut off and gets more and more excited until, I kid you not, he is literally bouncing off the walls! It is INSANITY!

Thank god my mother's helper is out of school for the summer and back on duty helping me with these three kids. She gives me breaks and she helps me wrangle all three of them when we go out. And go out we will because the bouncing off the walls inside the house? Not making me happy at all!

Last Thursday in an attempt to find some sanity we threw them all into the car and decided to check out the airplane museum (we have a membership that includes this museum so it was free)

The only other time I recall going to this museum I was about 7 months pregnant with the twins. I hated it. Fairly obviously because I was 7 months pregnant with twins and wouldn't haven't enjoyed any museum let alone one with nothing to do but walk from airplane to airplane.

With 3 young kids in tow and none in my body it was actually really awesome! We had a blast and were only there for just under an hour and already planning a return trip to explore some more. (probably Thursday or Friday if anyone wants to join us!)

Here are a few photos from our short visit!

Blogging out loud is... awesome

2010-07-10T07:20:00.002-04:00

I heard about last year's Blog Out Loud event right after it happened. And I admit, my first thought was that it seemed kind of odd.

Blog posts aren't generally written to be read out loud and I imagined it would sound, well, kind of dull.

I was wrong.

Reading blog posts out loud is amazing. It gives the authors the opportunity to give life to their posts. When the author pauses for effect in the right places, adds excitement to the words with their tone of voice, changes voices for the characters they are speaking for, they give life to their posts.

I was impressed, I was entertained, and I had a great time!

Lynn did an amazing job of organizing this event. And obviously Ottawa needs events like this because the place was packed, and I know many people who'd wished they could have been there and couldn't.

I envision this event growing and growing (I'll be happy to help with anything Lynn! :) because the blogging community is big and strong and vibrant. And we love to get out and hang with other people who GET us.

I didn't have the nerve to read this year. A few people asked me why and I said I didn't think my blog was really the readable type. Especially since my posts are often so photo heavy. But people disagreed and so I went looking through my blog, and maybe there are a few posts that might have made the cut after all. Maybe next year. Although I think it'll just be all the more intimidating then! ;)

Thanks again Lynn, it was amazing to meet you! I also was thrilled to get to meet bloggers like Dani and Spydergrrl and Julie and Finola , Brenda and Krista. And to see some of the people I've met before and love to hang out with, even though I barely had the chance to say hi to many of them, like Amy, Amy, Brie, Shannon, Shannon, Chantal, Sara, Rebecca, Donna, Angela, Vicky Amanda and Christine. And people I saw but didn't get a chance to say hi to like Lana and Julie.
(ok, doing all those links took a long time and I'm positive I've forgotten people. Check them out - they're all great!)

If you weren't able to make it, here is a list of the posts that were read - all worth reading if you didn't have a chance to hear them :) I have a ton of new blogs I won't have time to read on my list and hope to get to see everyone at more events like these soon!

365 - another week

2010-07-05T20:47:00.004-04:00

I've had a few more days this week where I didn't have a photo at the end of the day and was trying to figure out what to do. I've decided that on days like that I will try to take detail shots around the house. I'm going to also post a few photos that I really liked from the week but that I didn't choose as photo of the day. I often have an internal debate on whether to choose what I consider the best, the most beautiful, or the most meaningful photo for my daily photo.

Day 28
This dress was mine as a kid. Check out this photo to see the comparison of me in it too :)

Day 29
Me, I'm team Edward. And we got to see the movie the day BEFORE it came out. And it was awesome :) I took this photo with my iPhone.

Day 30
Stuck in rush hour I got a bunch of shots by just holding my camera up and shooting randomly. It was a weird day with beautiful sun and storm clouds. Turned out neat I think.

Day 31
Canada Day downtown. I think this photo has great texture.

Day 32
We've had such gorgeous days lately, and evening is always a beautiful time of day for photos. I took these on a drive to get the crazies in the car to calm down. We've had far too many of those days lately.

Day 33
A fabulous day at the cottage. This was on our way to show Kiernan the waterfall. I forgot how hot and muggy a waterfall is on an already hot day ;)

Day 34
Random house detail shot :)

Day 35
There are still things growing in my garden. Fingers crossed something ends up being edible!

Extra shots

The waterfall near our cottage

Juliette's face is priceless here

Relaxin'

The book was very appropriate

June

2010-07-01T20:01:00.013-04:00

June, you can suck it.

I barely survived you. You beat me down.

Sickness after sickness after sickness.... it wasn't even that I was exhausted so much as frustrated. I was just about ready to throw in the towel.

Because really?

Hives? Hives with no explanation, of course.

Hand, foot and mouth disease? I didn't even know what that was! (kind of like chicken pox but the blisters only end up on your hands, feet and.... you guessed it, mouth. Including IN your mouth. Which explains why your 13 month old refused to nurse for 3 days!) It doesn't look that horrible does it? It sucked.

Mysterious fevers with trips to CHEO and still no reasoning?

I'm glad you're over, even if you did offer me a few fleeting moments of joy.

July... you'd better not suck, but you only made a fair introduction with these barrels of fun.

But I will give you that, for today, we seemed to be on an upswing of the sick *knock on wood*

And July has my birthday, and I can eat dairy queen cake again. That definitely will help with July. :)

365 - days 20 - 26

2010-06-26T21:11:00.002-04:00

I'm a whole 7% of the way through this project! ;) Some days it seems daunting to think I'm going to be chasing after a good photo every day for so much longer, and yet... I'm really enjoying this so far. I've been getting a lot of photos I really like and that I feel really proud of.

Day 20
This little monkey has us on our toes...

Day 21
There is something about this photo that I love. I want to frame it.

Day 22
I got a great compliment on this photo - that it looked like it could be a in a catalogue. I think he looks sweet and handsome.

Day 23
Baking late at night. And still no 365 photo to be found ;)

Day 24
Driving home in the rain. It was fun to play with the reflections of the light on the rain drops on the windshield.

Day 25
On one of my many drives through the backcountry of the East of Ottawa to keep babies quiet... this is a church in Sarsfield.

Day 26
A fabulous day at the cottage. This photo makes me smile. I also want to frame it. We are going to have a lot of frames I think :)

Day 27
Splashing in puddles in an after dinner walk. I'm enjoying playing around with angles and getting down on the ground.

I'm still working on not being shy with my camera, which I think is going to be key in this project. I don't want to be too intrusive with my camera, but I think I just need to get more comfortable walking with my camera in hand wherever I go!

I wonder what I'll get next week!

A perfect summer day

2010-06-26T08:46:00.006-04:00

Yesterday I asked Eric to take the day off so we could go to the cottage. Kiernan is going into a summer program that starts on Monday that lasts for FIVE weeks, so we won't be able to do anything other than on weekends until August. With the weather forecast promising great weather we decided to have a day in the sun. And it was awesome!

The weather was perfect. Eric's parents always make things easy, helping to take the burden off from chasing three kids around. The babies loved the water and Kiernan was far less hesitant getting back in the water than he has been in previous years.

And, shockingly, I took some photos :)

Fishing is serious business

From cottage june 25

We had a ton of fun with a water squirting toy. We made is rain, we squirted things, and... I made Eric shoot it in the air 20 times so I could try to get a photo I liked of the water in the air ;)

From cottage june 25

One day I'll manage to get them all to look at the camera at the same time, right?

From cottage june 25

Bedtime stories a la Kiernan

2010-06-24T16:09:00.002-04:00

"What kind of story would you like tonight?"

"A juice story"

"A juice story.... ok..."

"Not the one where I turn into an apple"

"Ok... well, what kind of a juice story?"

"The kind where the juice is on fire"

"Right.... can you give me an idea of how that one goes?"

"Ok. There was some juice, and it was one fire. And it ran around the house saying "HELP!!!! HELPP!!!! I'M ON FIRE!!! SOMEONE UNFIRE ME!!! HELPPP!! And then Kiernan came and unfired the juice. And then there was some water and it was on fire and it ran around the house yelling HELPP!! HEEEELLLLPPPP!! I'M ON FIRE!!! SOMEONE UNFIRE ME!!! and then Kiernan unfired the water. And then there was was a table and it was on fire and it ran around the house YELLING HEELLPP HELPPP I'M ON FIRE!!! And Kiernan unfired the table and then it went home"

"Wow. Is that the end?"

"NO! And then there was a chair and it was on fire and it was yelling HEEEELPP HELPPPP I'M ON FIRE! And then Kiernan unfired it and it went home.

so. Can you tell me that story?"

"Well... you just told it, so maybe I don't need to tell it back to you."

"Mommy, I couldn't hear it when I was telling it. You tell it now"

"Once upon a time there was some juice. And it was on fire.....

With two feet firmly planted on the ground

2010-06-24T09:35:00.002-04:00

Right around the 13 month mark Juliette started taking steps and is walking more and more. It took Kiernan about a month to go from stepping to full time walking so I think we're probably well on our way towards that with her. It's so cute to see her walking! She flaps to keep her balance.

Quinn is starting to realize it's time for a change too...

He's just not convinced it's safe to take his hands off the ground ;)

BONUS VIDEO - dancing girl

Chomp

2010-06-22T04:48:00.004-04:00

Little did I know when I was given the glorious gift of a full 7.5 hours of solid sleep on Sunday night that it was simply to make up for what was coming.

Twins teething molars.

I can only assume that that is actually what is happening. But the grabbing of mouths, the low grade fevers, the BUCKETS of drools soaking shirt after shirt and the whining that is not really decreasing despite the advil and tylenol seems to point in that direction.

Quinn won't nurse. He wants to nurse, but every time he latches on he screams and pulls off. So I'm pretty sure he's also hungry. We're downstairs now, at 4:30 in the morning, having a snack and watching some hi - 5. He has eaten some of the snack and rubbed the rest of it into his hair. Because he wishes he had spiky hair.

Anyways... those teeth better come out by tomorrow. That's all I'm sayin' And they better not be sick instead of teething because if they are I'm ripping out all the carpet in my house (don't try to understand, I realize this post probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense but 5am is NOT my time of day ;)

365 project - 19 days in!

2010-06-19T07:19:00.003-04:00

I'm 19 days into this challenge and I'm already seeing how challenging it's going to be.

I worry all the time that the photos I'm taking aren't up to par with the 365 groups that I'm trying to be a part of. I'm hoping that by the end of the 365 I'll be a lot better, but a lot of my photos really aren't anything to write home about.

That being said I'm solidifying what I want out of this challenge. Part of it is improving my photography skills and trying to come up with new and different things to photograph. But part of it is also just as a record of a year of our life. So some days the photos may be of the mundane, but I will have chosen something that was most meaningful to me that day as opposed to the most lovely photo.

I'm also going to try to have at least one line of text accompanying each photo. Then at the end I think the whole thing will be printable! :)

Day 12

I feel like it looks like they're having a meeting over a board room table here :) It's so nice to see the kids playing so well together. I just wish I didn't have to chase after mine so much and everywhere. Mieka isn't nearly as hard to keep track of - and not just because there's only one of her! ;)

Day 13
Part of a series of photos I got Eric to take to get H is for hugging from my ABC photography challenge. Moments like these making things all worthwhile. For the few second they last until someone hits, bites, or head butts... of course.

Day 14
Some days he seems so old to me. But there's nothing like a face covered in chocolate to remind you he's still a little boy. And it's sweet.

Day 15
Quinn is an explorer. He wants to see anything and everything and so we spend our trips at the park following and exploring along with him.

Day 16
I took this at the arboretum this past week and really love it. I think it might be my favourite photos of the challenge so far.

Day 17
The babies won't sit and pose right now. Not at all. But this is a super fun and playful shot of all three kids at Parliament Hill.

Day 18
I really like photographing Miss Mieka. She's gorgeous, very photogenic, and she stays put!

Day 19
I do not have a green thumb. The fact that anything is sprouting in my garden seems like a minor miracle. We'll see if it actually produces any food though! :)

(I see the way I've posted these photos from flickr is cutting off a bit of the edge. I'm too tired to figure that out now, so just go check out the flickr set to see them all ;)

Feelin' the love

2010-06-13T19:18:00.001-04:00

There have been a lot of hard days lately. People keep getting sick. And I'm tired. There's also a lot of "I only want mommy" moments, which can get to be too much. Just leave me be a LITTLE!

There are some days I think about how much easier it was with just one. Just imagine! Or I daydream about all the sleep I used to get before I had no children. OR, how when I used to get sick I could stay in bed all day and get better. GENIUS.

But for all the hard (and I really believe it won't stay this hard for much longer) man is there a lot of good. And even though sometimes I wish they'd give me my space, do you think it gets much better than this?

365 - an introduction

2010-06-11T08:20:00.003-04:00

I've been thinking about taking on a 365 photo challenge for... close to a year. It's a big commitment. I was scared.

Ever since I start the ABC Photography Challenge for Kids in the Capital I've been taking a lot more photos. And I've been getting some photos I'm really proud of.

I decided that a 365 project would really push me to improve my photos even more.

What the hell is a 365 photo challenge Lara??

I'm going to take a photo a day for a year. That's pretty much it. It can be of anything I want.

What if you miss a day?

There is nobody who cares if I take a photo from a different day or not, but *I* am hoping I can manage to take a photo every day. Even if it's just a photo of my toes from my iPhone.

As much as I want this to help me improve my photography skills by working on my composition, making me figure out cool and different things to do with my camera, etc, I also want it to be a record of a year of my life.

I'm definitely going to have to be creative some days though. Day 11 was taken at 10 last night because I hadn't taken a photo. I was tempted to use a photo from a different day, but that seemed like cheating.

So, short answer... if I miss a day, I'll make it up somehow. But I don't want to miss a day and I will be disappointed.

Where can I see these photos? I love your photos and don't want to miss a single one!

Awww... that's sweet! I am posting the photos daily on Flickr. I also will do regular recap posts here. By regular I mean every week in theory and whenever I get around to it in actuality.

Day 1
There are some cardinals who live somewhere in one of our trees. There is a cat who comes into our yard and PISSES THEM OFF! Then the cardinals go nuts and buzz around the backyard landing everywhere and telling off the cat. They're beautiful. And hilarious.

Day 2
Cheeeese. As much as I try to avoid "cheese" face, I do think this photo somehow shows off a fun part of K.

Day 3
This boy poses for me so nicely regularly. Gorgeous boy, even with food in his eyebrows.

Day 4
This is a dress my mom picked up from a garage sale and although it isn't really my style I wanted to put it on her, so she wore it over to my in-laws' one day. It was cuter on her than I expected and this photo really doesn't even do it justice.

Day 5
We spend a lot of time in the swings. Quinn makes a lot of funny faces.

Day 6
Kiernan will happily sit and do crafts for long periods of time - and he amazes me. He's so good. I could have skipped him deciding to paint his face though ;)

Day 7
Mieka turned one!! And I love these cupcake toppers. You should have seen the cake pops too!

Day 8
J is for jumping. And these boys had fun helping me get this photo :)

Day 9
This is our neighbour's garden. That's our long and weedy grass. I'm sure people love having us as a neighbour. Although, I noticed all the houses with young kids have longer and weedier grass than the people with no young kids, so I feel a bit better about that. And the lawn has been mowed since this was taken :)

Day 10
Having a snack at Mieka's birthday party. Actually, having Mieka's snack at Mieka's birthday party. This girl is a bottomless pit. It's a delightful change.

Day 11
I love that I can go in and take a photo of Kiernan sleeping without risking waking him up. It's so peaceful. See that pig under his head? Eric and I won that at La Ronde when we first started dating and he has been using it as a pillow for years. It's so cheap I'm afraid to wash it, but it's also getting gross.

I'm looking for a stockpile of photo ideas to keep me inspired. Feel free to throw some out :)

Behold the magnificent play structure!

2010-06-07T08:15:00.010-04:00

With three young kids, I REALLY REALLY wanted a backyard that my kids would want to spend a lot of time in. One I could open the door to and herd the children into while I try to get stuff done... like cook, clean, or deal with some of the other children.
It seemed like the right time to invest in a really good structure and the one at Costco called our name.
Also, it turned out that the one at Costco came in 5 gajillion pieces. That filled our two car garage.

I don't think that first photo really does it justice though... here is a close up of the size of the pieces. I saw them all lying there, not a single piece of that structure pre-put together and I have to admit.... I worried.

But I needn't have! Eric and his dad spent an entire weekend at it... but they built it and it is amazing, it is stupendous, it is magnificent!

Day 1's work - they needed to dig down and level and add gravel and all kinds of good stuff.

Day 2

BEHOLD: (please notice curb appeal details like window dormers ;)

We love it, we use it almost daily. And I get great photos on and from it! :)

Two little monkeys

2010-06-06T22:16:00.010-04:00

I know I've said this before, but can I just say again.... these two are a lot of work...

This pane was missing when we moved in, they didn't break it or anything. But this is the door into the playroom, and they spend a lot of time hanging out this window :)

The cat door at Vicky's was a big hit. I'm pretty sure neither could actually fit through.

Oooh, a dishwasher, I love dishwashers...

Ooooh cupboards, I love cupboards, I wonder what's in here....

So... which one do I chase first?

Please send wine.

View from an iPhone part 3

2010-06-05T21:50:00.011-04:00

I realized I haven't gotten the photos off my iPhone in eons!!

The boys at lunch at St Laurent.

Let me out!

The day before their first birthday.

I think this bunny lives in our lawn.

I will SCHMOOSH my face through this screen if you don't LET US OUT!!

My favourite colours are green AND blue!

Feeding the ducks

UPDATED: The saddest garden around...

2010-06-04T10:41:00.006-04:00

I've been wanting to have a garden for years. I talk about it and never do it. This year, I was determined. I picked this little area in our backyard (oooh, sad fence, you will be dealt with another year)

Really, that was way too big. I dug out a part of it. Yes, that's the pile of grass I dug up, I haven't even moved it yet. one step at a time, right?
The bonus here is that I have a keen little helper who is out there watering daily!

These three whole cucumber plants. You're impressed, I can tell!

But today I am going to go and buy some more soil, and some seeds, and a couple of tomato plants. I've decided the tomatoes are going to live in pots instead of going into the the ground. In the garden we are going to plant some carrots and maybe a pumpkin!!

Wish me luck!

I went to the Garden Centre yesterday afternoon and got some soil and some plants. I planted some strawberries, mini tomatoes and a red pepper plant. I also got two tomato plants to plant into pots. I'm also going to buy some seeds to plant some carrots and peas and I'm thinking there isn't enough room for a pumpkin. I think it looks better already!

Wedding dress blog tour

2010-05-31T21:02:00.006-04:00

Julie and Lynn took part in the wedding dress blog tour started by Shasher and I decided I needed to take part too!

My wedding dress was nothing like what I thought I would get. I imagined something with colour embroidered all through it, and definitely not strapless. But in the end this was the dress that felt right and I loved it. The biggest mistake I made was cheaping out on getting the dress hemmed. The woman I bought the dress for suggested I could wear slightly taller heels and a slightly larger crinoline and not have to hem the dress. I went for it and could barely sit down in that crinoline and my feet were killing me. Just have the dress hemmed ;)

On the other had, should Juliette want to wear it one day, there's lots of extra dress to hem off to get all the dirt and grass stains off since I never got around to having it dry cleaned. oops. :)

Our wedding was out at Eagle Creek in Dunrobin. I think they stopped doing weddings after this one trial year, although I'm not sure. We were married on September 10, 2005, right on the course and it was a perfect day in an incredibly picturesque spot. My great aunt gave me one of the best compliments when she said it was like one of the weddings you saw on tv!

Now, just as a quick aside... a co-worker's wife is a makeup artist. She offered to do my makeup and all my bridesmaids for free. We had no trial. She gave me blue eyeshadow and I felt bad saying I didn't like it. To this day, I can't believe I had blue eye shadow on at my wedding!!

This shows the details of the dress off a bit better. And how I calmed down a bit right before the ceremony ;)

This is my favourite photo of the day.

I never considered selling it, I just felt too attached to it (I AM a packrat, after all) so it is currently in my parents' cedar closet. My goal is to one day be thin enough again to wear it (I was pregnant with Kiernan within months of getting married) and maybe have one of those wedding dress/bridesmaid dress parties. That would make for a really great photo op!

What about you? I want to hear about your dresses! :)

Cousins

2010-05-27T22:38:00.003-04:00

Officially, I have two cousins. But really, I don't have any cousins. I never even met one of them, and the other I met once, when I was six. So... none to speak of really.

My kids have three cousins. And they're really lucky, because all six of the kids were born in just over 5 years, so they're all really close in age. And they love each other. And I love to watch them.

Roanen and Kiernan are only 8 months apart in age and I think they may always be the closest. I can't wait to watch and see.

SLURRP!

2010-05-25T08:55:00.002-04:00

The last few weeks have been some of the hardest I can recall. Not necessarily because things have been worse than they ever have but because I just haven't had the energy/ability to get through them well. We seem to have passed through (knock on wood) the worst of it as the plague has mostly left our house (mostly), so I'm hoping to get back on track.
Until then here is a photo I love from our trip to the Biodome this past weekend, despite that old and weird looking arm ;)

And here is a list of posts I haven't forgotten that I have to write:
- House update : wtf
- Behold the amazing playstructure
- The babies turn one!

I'll get them written eventually :)

And I love you too

2010-05-18T13:49:00.004-04:00

He's the biggest, at least by his age, of all 3, but I think he may be the biggest softy.
He cuddles on a good day, but this past week, while he's been sick, he has given the strongest most intense hugs I may have ever felt. The kind of hug you love to give back and are in no hurry to ever let go of.

Like mother like daughter

2010-05-18T10:54:00.002-04:00

She's got spunk and drama this one. She knows what she wants and she isn't afraid to yell for it. I'm pretty sure she's her mama's girl through and through.

Don't hold me!

2010-05-17T23:25:00.005-04:00

"Don't hold me!" he tells me as soon as I've put him up on the horse. I tell him okay, but he keeps glancing behind to make sure I'm not sneakily holding on to him anyways. "I can do it by myself!" I tell him I know he can, and promise not to hold on unless he needs me to. "I'm a big boy!" And don't I know it.
It would make me sad, except just as he's becoming more and more independent he's also getting new habits that make it a bit easier... like the hug, kiss and snuggle I get on the couch every morning when he first wakes up along with the quiet "I love you". That's when I get to hold him and he doesn't mind.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-05-12T08:27:00.005-04:00

It's tulip time!

And check out week 5 of the ABC Challenge over at Kids in the Capital!

My, but she's a pretty girl!

2010-05-10T21:37:00.007-04:00

Happy Mother's Day!

2010-05-09T18:26:00.002-04:00

I love my kids every day, all the time. They love me every day, all the time. I always feel loved and appreciated - I never doubt how my family feels about me.

But I think it's nice to have these "assigned" days of honouring. A day when people are reminded to take the extra time to give moms a break and a give them a thank you. And I am exactly at the stage of mothering that needs a break and an extra thank you. The stage where mothering is amazing a million times a day, but also the stage where it is almost all encompassing with no room for anything else.

And a mother does need to have something else sometimes. And a mother needs to hear how appreciated they are.

All my momma friends out there, I hope you felt appreciated today and had the kind of day that made you happy.

I did :)

3 things challenge - and update

2010-05-04T23:01:00.002-04:00

So apparently I suck at this challenge thing ;) I flossed every day, but I only made one loaf of the two I promised, I only unpacked 2 of the 5 boxes I promised, and I didn't even manage to blog on Sunday like I should have. Aie aie aie.

I do really like the voting on the sidebar for post of the week. So I'm revamping. I'm deciding none of you really cared about the 3 things anyways, but I will continue having a post of the week. I will write the post about the house this week, and you can vote for the newly updated poll on the sidebar that will be up for the next week.

I'm running out of ideas so I'm afraid old ideas that didn't get chosen in a given week will probably keep showing back up. But I will gladly take suggestions for posts in the comments. Please, suggest :)

To all the twin mamas to be...

2010-04-30T14:22:00.005-04:00

With a year of being a twin mama almost under my belt I thought I'd try to come up with some advice and comments for twin mamas to be. Here's a list, all the other twin moms who read, please chime in in the comments with anything you think I missed :)

1. Get help for the early months. I had someone with me almost constantly for the first two months and I'm sure I couldn't have breastfed otherwise. Anyone who has twins without help (and with an older sibling at home!) astounds me. I barely was functional with all the help that I had.

2. Lower your expectations of cleanliness for your house. My house was never all that tidy to begin with so now it's borderline horrific. If you are a tidy person, you probably only just need to expect a bit of chaos ;)

3. Be ready to expect the unexpected. My plan of action changed constantly. From the idea of two babies sleeping in one crib (ha!) to separate cribs, to all of us sleeping in the living room, to buying a house so everyone could have their own room so I didn't have to sleep in the stairwell any more.... be ready to go with the flow and do what it takes to figure out what works.

4. Be ready to be a celebrity. People talk to you. People ask you inappropriate questions. And people tell you that you have your hands full. BOY do they tell you that you have your hands full a lot!

5. Take lots of pictures and try to write down lots of how things feel in the first couple of months. You likely won't remember them very well.

6. Mother's helpers are awesome. All you need is an extra set of hands. A teenager fits the bill perfectly.

7. Having a room that is baby proofed that you can dump the babies in once they are moving and know they are safe is a really nice thing to have. We didn't have room in the old house, but that's what our living room became in the new house. If you have a room you can spare - do it.

8. It gets easier.

9. Watching your twins bond and play together from a much younger age than singletons do is a very special thing.

10. As slow as every day may feel in the beginning - time disappears in a flash. And suddenly you went from this:

to this:

and you can't believe it.

Twilight: Why I don't want to leave my husband for Edward

2010-04-28T13:21:00.000-04:00

When I was a teenager I had a poster on the back of my door similar to the one below. In retrospect, I am relatively certain that I was probably more under the impression I *should* like having a poster like that on my door more than I actually enjoyed having it there. Ahhh Chippendales, was that a late 80s early 90s thing or just me and my friends? ;)

If I were a teenager right now, let me tell you, Edward, and even Jacob, would be adorning my walls. (I asked Eric if we could get a poster for our room but he said no. le sigh)

And I would really like a shirt like this one:

Because I'm totally a Twihard. I read the first book in a night and totally ignored my family to do it. When it was done, I started it over again. I've read the entire series at least 4 times. And I don't apologize for it - I love them.

I know there is a lot of criticism out there about the books because they create an unrealistic expectation of love and a normal relationship. At first I scoffed - really? People know this is fiction. But I do realize that some people throw themselves into a story a bit more than I do.

I have never thought "sigh... I wish *I* could be with someone like Edward". Because really, there are many reasons I would NOT want to be with Edward:

- He's way too intense
- He's all "I'm your protector" and stuff and that would drive me up the wall. Don't do things for my own good without telling me, give me a little more credit than that PLEASE. Or forbid me from doing something - I don't care how dangerous you think it is. You don't get to do that.
- His "I am going to kill myself if you die because I can't live in a world without you". Oh spare me the drama. That's exactly I would want in a mate, someone that was so dependent on me that they would kill themselves if I died. Except not at all.

Rinse and repeat over and over.

These are not really what I would consider good character traits for someone in a healthy relationship, at least not for me.

Their story caught me. I love to read about them. I can't even describe what it is about the story that I love so much other than that I really believe in Edward's love of Bella. But for all the girls out there who think they're going to find that, and be happy with it, I feel sorry. That's not what real life and love is about.

And I certainly hope that I will be able to teach Juliette that. You need to be happy loving yourself. You need to feel equal to your partner. Love is amazing, but it should never be your entire world.

Oh, and "don't date vampires"

"or werewolves"

(thanks to everyone who voted to have me write this post this week - it's been in my head for months. Don't forget to vote for what I write next week on the side bar!)

3 things - week 2

2010-04-25T21:04:00.005-04:00

I give myself a 9/10 grade on my first week's challenge.

Granola bars - CHECK (they were good, but crumbly. They need hours to cool before you can cut in to them)

A week of green smoothies - I had one every day but yesterday and made up for it by having one today. They were good. They did not make me feel better, nor did they make my skin feel nicer, nor did I get any skinnier. I may continue to make them since they are healthy, but I'm far from sold or hooked on the green smoothie idea.

Empty 3 boxes - I'm emptied 2.5. I'm such a lazy ass. I will try to empty at least another half box before bed ;)

Poll - 17 votes, not bad. The Twilight post came out WAYYY ahead so I'll be writing that one this week. Keep your eyes open.

This week's challenge

- floss every day (I mean, I totally already do that)
- Bake 2 new kinds of bread in the break maker
- Empty 5 boxes

And check out the sidebar for a new vote for a post for next week!

You've got your hands full - part 1

2010-04-24T07:05:00.003-04:00

We are less than 3 weeks away from the babies' first birthday and it's had me looking back on this crazy year a lot. Twins has been a crazy ride, one that I haven't had a lot of time to record as much as I wished I could have. So before they get any older I thought that I would try to put some of my thoughts on twin down on screen through a series of twin posts.

Part 1

Twins first or Twins second?

It seems almost a pointless question - nobody gets to choose if they are going to have twins during a first pregnancy or during a subsequent pregnancy, but it is a frequent topic of discussion: is it easier to have twins first or second?

There are arguments to both sides, of course. If you have twins first then you don't know any different. If you have twins first then you don't have any older children to try to wrangle and take care of as well.

My feeling is that having twins after a singleton is far easier. Because you have experience to draw on. All the things that made you nervous the first time around aren't quite so daunting the second time. To me, that made the world of difference.

We had particular circumstances with tummy issues that really made this the case though. If we hadn't been through Kiernan we wouldn't have known that milk and soy were issues for our kids. I can't even imagine how I would have survived if I had had two babies who were as needy as Kiernan. Because I knew to look for problems and try to avoid them, I went off dairy and soy before they were born and was at the doctor's for reflux medication before anything got out of control. Without that knowledge, since they DID have problems, life would have been almost unbearable.

Other things that I think went more easily because I had previous experience include breastfeeding, babywearing and my ability to cart them both around without fears of them being breakable.

We were lucky. We were able to keep Kiernan in full time daycare when the babies were born. I am sure our experience would have been somewhat different if that weren't the case. But nonetheless, I maintain that the experience from first time parenthood makes parenting multiples a bit easier than it would have been otherwise. There were countless times that Eric and I said "thank God we didn't have twins first"

Then again, my friend who had twins first says she constantly thought to herself "Oh my god, thank God I don't have an older child to deal with right now too!" So it's all perspective. :)

It's the little things

2010-04-22T08:53:00.002-04:00

Lately a lot of days are hard. I'm tired. The babies are teething and up a lot at night and often won't easily go back down.

After a year, I just don't have the reserves to not be cranky the next day. I am longing for days, weeks, months... by myself.

But, there are so many joys at the same time:

- watching Juliette's hair turn this gorgeous shade of auburn and start to curl. Oh but she has pretty hair.
- watching Quinn figure things out. Everything is a mystery he is ready to try to solve.
- watching Kiernan develop his language skills and ability to interact with others as a kid instead of "baby". The stories and jokes that kid tells - hilarious!
- watching them play together, explore together, and enjoy each other.
- watching them learn and discover at every turn.
- the hugs, the kisses, and the love.

It's all so worth it. Imagine how much I would be enjoying it all with a few extra hours of a sleep a night!

Push me as high as you Grammie!!

2010-04-20T12:25:00.004-04:00

We've gone through a bit of a scared phase. Suddenly we were too scared to go down slides and be pushed on swings. "Does that go fast? I don't like to go fast."

But a few weeks into park season and we're overcoming the fears.

There is just too much fun to be had!

"Now push me as high as the SKY!"

3 things challenge

2010-04-18T19:18:00.005-04:00

I've started a photo challenge over at Kids in the Capital and I like that I have a scheduled post with a scheduled topic once a week. So I'm starting a weekly post here, with a vaguer purpose but it will have a similar format every week.

3 things I "challenge" myself to do in the coming week
A recap of the things I accomplished in the previous week (obviously not pertinent this week)
A reader's choice poll helping me choose one of the many blog posts that have been bouncing around in my head, forcing me to finally put one to keyboard/screen

Sound fun? Of course! :)

My 3 things for this week:

1) Drink a green smoothie every day
2) Unpack 3 boxes
3) Make the granola bars Ottawa Mom talked about on her blog this week

3 post topics to help me choose from:

1) Twilight: why I don't want to leave my husband for Edward
2) Let me tell you a bit about sleep deprivation
3) Driving around in my automobile

There's a poll on the sidebar - help me pick one to write next week!

What about you - is there anything you're hoping to get done this week?

So? Fun, or what? :)

11 months old

2010-04-15T10:27:00.009-04:00

I can't believe we are less than a month away from these babies turning one. Because seriously - woah!

That being said, we've come a long way!

Quinn
- now has 6 teeth cutting his 6th tooth on his 11 month birthday. He's well on his way to catching up to Juliette now in the teeth department
- can pull himself up in his crib (and gnaw on the sidebars - awesomeness) but can't get himself back down. this is a pain.
- crawls. like properly. like I've heard babies crawl. Kind of neat to see. And he's fast!
- Still a cuddler and a bit of a mama's boy - but way less so now that there's so much to see and do. He is on the verge of being able to stand on his own, but doesn't seem interested in walking even with us helping.
- loves to drink water
- Wearing clothing Kiernan wore when he was 2 - 2.5 years old
- dances by shaking his head back and forth like he's saying no. It's hilarious and must make him dizzy
- Will allow daddy to rock him to sleep (or me too. essentially, he does not NEED to nurse to sleep)
- likes to pull stuff down off shelves and rip down safety guards
- loves his stuffed bear
- LOVES the remote. but only the cable remote, not one that we don't care if he touches.
- points at everything

Juliette
- Can say maymay (that's mommy) and mmmmmo(more) and AH! AH! AH! (which means "look at me" or "yes!" or "I'm happy"
- loves to dance and does it whenever she is happy (when she sees mommy or daddy she immediately yells ah! ah! and then dances)
- will NOT allow anyone to rock her to sleep. Two options exist: nurse or scream to sleep (although there are the rare exceptions to this rule)
- still has 8 teeth
- pulls herself up on everything and gets back down by dropping (hard) to her bum. She isn't really walking along things but will pull herself up on toys that slide across the floor and push. Otherwise it's up and down and up and down with her army crawl between.
- is on the verge of standing on her own
- eats really well
- drinks water out of a sippy on her own
- loves to grab whatever her brother is holding
- likes to join Kiernan in whatever he is doing. Much to Kiernan's dismay
- likes to pull stuff down off shelves and rip down safety guards

Get us out of here!!

This is my brother Kiernan. He is fun to point at and/or harass by trying to take over what he is doing.

Are they really almost toddlers?

2010-04-13T09:28:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, on the eve the twins turning 11 months (!) I was thinking about how when Kiernan was this age I was weeks away from going back to work.

And let me tell ya - I am so glad I am not weeks away from going back to work.

I SO understand why I was in tears regularly at the thought of going back. I so understand why it was hard for me to feel ready to leave him. And he seemed so much older than they do. He was walking. He was talking. (I think because I now have an older kid to compare them to they also seem younger than Kiernan, as an only child, felt to me)

So today I am happy that I have decided to stay home. They are almost one though so I will start looking to see if I can find some part time work, and they are starting to visit their Grammie a little more without me (thank you Grammie!).

And I am going to try to enjoy the last little bit of baby there is left in them, because it's all going to be over far too soon.

I can't believe my babies are almost one.

Sweet smiles

2010-04-10T15:27:00.005-04:00

It may have been a rough week... but I think this makes up for it :)

jealous

2010-04-09T08:33:00.003-04:00

I am jealous...

... of the mothers who seem to not get worn down by the neediness
... of the parents who don't resort to yelling
... of the patience I've seen other parents exhibit
... of people who have the time and the energy to take a class or pursue a personal hobby. Who have a little bit of time for themselves.

This has been a particularly trying week. Quinn had roseola and he doesn't do sick well. Juliette believes her world will end if I leave the room. Well, Quinn seems to think that too. Kiernan is still being noisy. I know it will get better. I know I'll feel a bit more in control again soon. But this week, I feel beaten down. I hate that.

I got a glorious break yesterday, but with the debt I have right now, and the angry "how could you have left me" reception, I quickly felt depleted again. At least I slept. (One day, I should document the variety of nights we have : trying, regular, good. It's loads of fun).

I know it will get better. I know I'll feel a bit more in control again soon. Say it with me. I know it will get better. I know I'll feel a bit more in control again soon.

Photos photos photos

2010-04-08T14:08:00.004-04:00

I'm sure you've noticed, if you follow my blog, that I like to take a lot of pictures. I've decided to challenge myself to improve my photography in a series of posts over at Kids in the Capital (come play along if you want! :) and the side effect of that is that I'm going to be taking a lot more photos - playing around with my camera and trying to get photos to fill the themes.

So far so good for a first day, don't you think?

Moving beyond the breast

2010-04-07T08:53:00.004-04:00

The babies turn one in just over a month (OH. MY. GOD.) and more and more I'm getting people who quietly ask me "are you going to stop nursing when they're one?"

It's interesting because a flood of questions come racing through my mind when people ask this.

Are you asking because you think it's weird to nurse past a year?
Are you asking because a lot of people stop at a year and so you're curious?
Are you asking because you're hoping I'll go beyond a year?
Are you asking because you think it's somehow time for me to stop?

A lot of people are asking just out of curiosity, I know that, but it's made me think about my feelings about nursing. I was nursed until I was over 2 and so my attitude towards nursing is that it lasts for quite a long time.

With Kiernan, my goal was to make it to a year if I could. He self-weaned at 11 months as we pushed him to take bottles more often in preparation for me going back to work. This time I didn't have a specific goal in mind other than to try to nurse twins. I didn't want to think past achieving the goal of being able to nurse TWO babies. And I did it! I needed to top up a bit in the beginning but by 3 months old they were exclusively breastfed. And we stopped giving them bottles and formula. Because nursing was just easier most of the time, and they never really liked the nasty formula that they have to drink because of their soy and milk protein intolerances.

But now, they are almost a year old. They nurse to sleep, or at least to calm down enough to go to sleep, and they don't drink anything that can replace my milk. And pumping isn't an option. I pump for an hour and get 3 oz. That's not going to cut it for twins. So I need to do something different.

A few people have suggested that we introduce formula in a cup. In theory I think that's a good idea, except I have to admit that I'm a big fan of the milk to sleep thing. Kiernan outgrew it on his own, so maybe my views of how easy it will be to get them off this method eventually is skewed, but wouldn't it be easier to switch to bottles, even though they're already a year old?

What I also wish is that there was a better alternative than the formula. I can't imagine that almond or rice milk would be good enough, right? Or would it be fine for me to go out for the day? Would it be fine for me to go to BlogHer for 3 days?

So many questions and I'm struggling with deciding what makes the most sense and how to implement it all. I'm also being lazy... it's so much easier to stick with the status quo.

What do you think? Any tips or ideas?

You better believe...

2010-04-04T22:46:00.002-04:00

I'm having issues with this, mother! Please go and find the BOY HATS!!

(better go unpack some more boxes...)

Old

2010-04-03T08:09:00.003-04:00

I feel old.

I look in the mirror and my skin looks old. I look tired all the time (unsurprisingly, but still) and I can see the steady decline I'm on.

Ugh.

I need to start doing something about it. Especially since I wear makeup about 6 times a year, it's not like I'm covering up these signs of aging.

But, I don't even know where to start. Oil of Olay? Every spa just promotes the line they use in the spa so it feels like it's for sales more than anything else. I know I could go to shopper's and ask them, but I thought I'd start with you guys first. Do you use anything? What works for you? Does anything work or is it all just a conspiracy to get my money?

Why do we have to get old? ;)

Noises

2010-04-02T08:16:00.003-04:00

There are a lot of funny noises in our new house. A bunch of the toilets are kind of wonky and make bubbling and gurgling noises and start running inexplicably. There are new creaks and groans. And there's also this whining noise. Except this whining noise followed us from the old house.
It starts around 7 am and doesn't let up until about 8 pm - every day. (Oh, except for when it goes to daycare.)

The most prevalent tone of voice in Kiernan's repertoire right now is full on whine. He changes it up to "end of the world howling" if he hurts himself at all. Like "OMG, I fell down on this plush carpet and hit nothing hard at all but I am VERY UPSET!"

This whine, it hits my brain like nails on a chalkboard, and I don't know how to make it stop. With crying you can bounce, you can shush, you can go for a walk or a drive.

I am not a fan. Anyone know a repairman for this kind of noise, I'm willing to pay big bucks.

Kids in the Capital

2010-03-31T22:39:00.003-04:00

We live in an amazing city - a city that is AMAZING for raising children in. I know that I don't know half of the fabulous places to take my kids, but I know other parents do. Because parents know what to do with kids.

And if all the parents got together and put all of their ideas on what to do with kids in Ottawa together - places to go, services that are good for kids, crafts, recipes, parenting 101 tips, etc we'd have a wealth of information made just for us, BY us.

Come by and check out Kids in the Capital, a blog that will do just that. Let us know what you think. Let us know if you want to be a contributor and write regular posts as well. Let us know if you want to write a guest post. And come back often because some amazing Ottawa bloggers will be talking about new stuff every day! See you there!

Honest Scrap Award

2010-03-31T08:41:00.004-04:00

Capital Mom gave me an award, and I don't get awards, so I am giddy with excitement!

The Honest Scrap Award Rules say that I must:

1. Brag about the award. (check)
2. Include the name of the blogger who gave you the award and link back to that blogger. (check)
3. Choose a selection of blogs that you find brilliant in honest content (check)
4. Show their names and links and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with this award. (check)
5. List at least ten honest things about yourself.

………then pass it on with the instructions!

I pick the following blogs as brilliant and honest and definitely worth checking out

1. Existere - a twin mama who lives too far away to hang out with, for which I am sad.
2. Mama Marshall - a great friend who knits great things and is looking forward to being a mama.
3. (Slightly) Less Cynical - my husband. He won't pass on this award, but he gives a great other view to our parenting journey and he's funny so I give him the award anyways.
4. Life on the Roof - Crafting, Country-living, amazing mom to two adorable boys. Reading her blog feels like a nice update over a cup of coffee. Something I definitely enjoyed doing the one time we were able to do it in person.

And now, 10 honest things about myself (I'm stuck on book related honesty because of Capital Mom's honest things ;) :

- I loved Twilight and I will eventually write a blog post about it
- I rarely read all the words in a book. In fact, I often skip entire paragraphs, sometimes pages.
- I enjoy harlequin and historical romances. They are light fluff and sap none of my limited brain power.
- I didn't finish this month's book club book either.
- I read pretty much every day
- Books can be found in pretty much every room in our house. We must have them in the thousands.
- Jaime, Edward and Nathaniel are my favourite leading men
- I rarely like non-fiction
- I don't enjoy reading to my children as much as I expected to. I am hoping once I'm not so tired I will enjoy it more. That being said, i do do it :)
- I intend to read Twilight for the 5th time this year.

I honestly did know I had it good then

2010-03-30T09:27:00.005-04:00

Kiernan walked at 10 months. But until then, he was barely mobile - a little bit of wall walking and that was it.

And then he started walking and people said "watch out!" and we got all this baby proofing stuff ready. And he never got into anything.

"Kiernan, don't touch the books on the bookcase" and he would veer off and do something else. He rarely pulled at cords or lamps. He didn't eat every single thing he saw.

So we stayed lazy, and there was still crap all over the floor all the time, and it wasn't a big deal.

And now we have TWO crawling babies. TWO babies who climb up and pull on things and rip things and pull down down books from book shelves, and eat any little thing they can find. They will wrench things off the walls, they will scootch under chairs to get at wires.

And they divide and conquer. "You go that way Quinn, I'll go over here. She can't stop us both at once!"

Thank GOD we moved and I have my playroom. But I do miss my TV a bit. Good thing I can bring my laptop with me when I am supervising ;) I mean, good thing I can get housework done while they are in the playroom and I am not down on the floor playing with them.

Some moments I'll miss having

2010-03-26T22:58:00.003-04:00

We are done having kids.

I feel very comfortable with that decision. We have a very nice sized family. We have two boys and a girl. We have done our share to propagate the species; have had our fair share of sleep deprivation (not that it's over yet.)

I feel done.

But there are moments that I am sad I will never get to experience again. Moments that were so special it would be lovely to get to do them over and over again.

* To feel a baby moving inside you.

* To birth them into this world (this was what I was best at in pregnancy, and I really am sad I won't get to do it again.) It was for me amazing and empowering.

* To meet your child for the first time and see the miracle that you created.

* To see the look of adoration in the eyes of your spouse, parents, grandparents, in-laws, in meeting this incredible new person.

* To smell the sweet breath of your newborn.

* To feel the love that is so special between a parent and new child that just grows and grows.

I am so blessed to have gotten to experience these things with my three children.

I am done. But I think I'm still going to grieve not getting to do these things again a little bit anyways.

A new blog

2010-03-24T17:55:00.002-04:00

Some wonderful friends and I are working on a new parenting blog. The idea is to share things we do with our families (activities, attractions, events, crafts, cooking, parenting tips etc.) in Ottawa with other parents. We are all very excited and hope to launch it soon, but....

We don't have a name. We need a name. Something catchy. Can you help us with a name?

We decided to host a Twitter contest. This is what we tweeted:

New Ottawa family blog needs name. Best idea wins $25 Starbucks card and 12 cupcakes! Tweet idea by end day March 25. #Ottawafamilyblog

Capital Mom will be making the cupcakes.She promises they will be good. :) I have a $25 Starbucks gift certificate with your name on it.

If you are on Twitter can you help us out and tweet your idea with the hash tag #Ottawafamilyblog. If you aren't on Twitter but have an idea, please leave it in the comments.

Can't wait to share the blog with you all!

Some messages to my children...

2010-03-24T11:52:00.004-04:00

Child.

- don't holler at me to feed you faster when you will barely open your mouth big enough to get the tip of the spoon in
- I am not talking to you when I say "do you have a poopy bum?" while holding a baby. I know you are toilet trained and do NOT have a poopy bum.
- You can't fall asleep sitting up. I know it's a new trick and it's fun to do when you wake up. But just stay lying down in the middle of the night and go back to sleep like you used to, ok?
- I love you too, but when you grab me and squeeze me so tight, you dig your little nails into my neck and grab the teeny hairs at the back of my neck and it really hurts. I don't love that part.
- When you walk into a room with daddy and one of the babies says "dada", please don't act so shocked that they just called you dada. They were not talking to you!
- I know you may think of him as your favourite toy because he's always around and so easy going, but please don't bite your brother, or use him as a jungle gym. He's much bigger than you and he may eventually fight back.
- You are 10 months old and can hold your own body weight, please hang on just a LITTLE bit when I'm carrying you around. You're heavy.