I just bloggy makeovered myself!!
I even bought the url and am now self-hosting a wordpress blog.
So come on over to www.glidingthroughmotherhood.com and check it out. And change your rss readers if needed, because I will set this url to autoforward there in about a week.
Let me know what you think!!
My iPhone broke. It was bound to happen - I think something about my inner core slowly electrocutes electronics - my computers, phones, etc always go nuts way earlier than everyone else's.
It also doesn't help that there are little people who abscond with our electronics even when we try to keep them away from them. Or that I thought it was ok to give the baby the iPhone (harmless right?) until Quinn sucked on it and did something to it and it start making this horrendous noise instead of vibrating (all who heard the noise can attest to a) its horribleness and b) its bizareness ;)
It went to a crazy white screen of death about half an hour after Eric left for a business trip and our house fell to the plague. It took me a week to get it in to be repaired. In all I was without an iPhone for 20 days. It was awful.
In those 20 days I would bemoan all the missed tweets, the difficulty of looking at a map BEFORE going somewhere, and at least 5 times a day I would take out the loaner flip phone, open it, and gaze at it - willing it to do SOMETHING, ANYTHING interesting. It never did.
I have a new iPhone now - still a 3G (which is just fine with me) but BRAND NEW. No more crazy buzzing and maybe another year before it starts acting up. And I think I may invest in the Applecare because OBVIOUSLY despite my love of electronics, they don't seem to love me.
And I am very very happy to have it back.
Paper, stationary to be more specific, has always been a bit of an indulgence for me. I love pretty notebooks and writing paper... they call out to me.
Seems more than a bit odd for someone who does 99.9% of their writing on a computer (or iPhone when it isn't busted!) doesn't it? But really, I buy them; I love them; I don't really use them.
Recently paper and I have had a bit of a reunion - partially with intent, partially due to circumstance. In a combination of being more thoughtful in my writing, and trying to keep grimy little paws from banging on my laptop, I dug out some old notebooks. And I quickly realized that not only are my kids not particularly interested in my notebook (no buttons, pffft!) the exercise of putting pen to paper is almost magical (we're in that lovey dovey stage ;)
What it does is slows down the whole process. I can type so much faster than I can hand write. I spend more time pondering and less time verbal 'diarrhea-ing'. Then, I have to type the post, giving me a chance to rethink again. (My posts may still seem written off the cuff, but I'm actually trying hard to craft the thoughts behind them ;) Another bonus? I find the act of writing on paper calming. It's a way to focus, something I need to do more of.
In the process of rediscovering my love of writing on paper I felt inspired to write some letters. REAL letters on paper - mailed and received in a mailbox. I was nostalgic for the days of the 20+ page tomes I used to receive in the summers from friends away or just from a different town (I lived in a rural area as a teen and went to a regional highschool). And I remembered all of the notes written and passed back and forth between classes, folded into pinwheels and arrows. Do kids still write each other notes all origamied up or do they just text now?
I wrote two letters, letters full of all kinds of information I usually forget to write in emails or just don't take the time to put to paper. And then I realized what one of the big pitfalls to letter writing is. Getting it into the mailbox. Those two letters have been sitting for two weeks on my bookshelf - they aren't even addressed yet. But the thought was there and the exercise was still nice.
Paper and pen - I am using it more and feeling good about it. I don't want it to become a lost art. I plan to write more (lucky me I have so much nice and fun stuff to write on! :) What about you?
I'm shy. Really shy.
Oh I know, I don't always seem shy. But sometimes the thought of speaking up, in front of people (!) paralyzes me.
In highschool, whenever I was called on in class, regardless of topic or my knowledge on the subject, I had a canned answer "I don't know." Far better to appear to not be paying attention or care than to be WRONG. Or be EMBARRASSED!
I'm much better now. I speak my mind quite a bit in public - if it's on a topic I feel comfortable on. But even then I worry people think I'm a blabbermouth at the end (*cough cough* brain drain events *cough*)
But in a situation where I feel out of my depths? If you tell me I HAVE to talk, I may start to cry - at least on the inside. Or leave.
I'm working on confronting these fears. I don't actually leave, even though I really really want to. But just for the record, if you are in a group and you tell everyone they HAVE to speak up individually or do something individually in front of a group of people, you probably just really upset someone. Maybe that's OK, but know that it happened. And be really supportive of the girl in the back who looks like she's about to cry. K?
The last while hasn't been easy - it's hard to remember to note the good when your patience and energy are sapped.
But despite the rashes and the dripping noses; the hacking coughs and the nearly incessant whining there has been much laughter and joy.
Laughter as the babies have really discovered their love of dancing and music.
Laughter as the babies hug their older brother, while also trying to walk around the room.
Eyes lighting up and great big waves and HIs! for their big brother when they first catch sight of him in the mornings.
Invented games funny to nobody but themselves.
Caring and concern from an older brother
Sibling bonding has been strong around here lately - and it is definitely a joy to behold.
Lately I don't want to get out of bed. My children (whom I love very much) have been sick and whiny and clingy and have pushed me the very end of my sanity.
I feel inadequate as a mother; a a friend; as a wife. I am ready to curl up on the floor and give up, wishing I could be alone for... a week. Or a month or two. Maybe then I wouldn't feel such melancholy; so lost and out of control.
And then I thought "fake it".
So today that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to pretend the whining and clingy-ness doesn't feel like nails on a chalkboard. I'm going to pretend I feel confident enough not to let others get me down. I'm going to pretend I have the energy to go for a walk to the park when I really want to huddle on the couch while my kids trash the house.
While I'm at it I'm going to pretend to be organized and efficient, pretend I don't hate cleaning, pretend I like exercising and pretend I don't feel like I'm living life on a hamster wheel.
And if I fake all those things, even for just a day or two, maybe some of them will start to feel true.
It's going to be a good day. A GREAT day! (are you feeling it? :)
Tonight, after a thoroughly lovely day, Eric and I went out for dinner. My dad babysat and we decided to go out for Indian food - something we haven't had in a long time.
We arrived at the restaurant and found the front door locked but could see someone inside. She opened the door for us and I asked if they were closed and she said "no no, come in."
The owner then came to serve us and he explained that he and his family had been invited to visit with some friends so they were going to close the restaurant early, but he had called them to tell them that they would be late because customers had arrived. I apologized and he said no no, he was happy to do it because God wanted it so.
He then launched into a bit of a religious/spiritual explanation but the core message of it just felt nice to me.
If the Universe (God) wants things a certain way, who am I to fight it? Go with the flow and everyone will be happier.
It felt like a lesson I need to live by more often, and also kind of like a breath of fresh air.
