Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Feeling a bit like Pablo

I'm shy. Really shy.

Oh I know, I don't always seem shy. But sometimes the thought of speaking up, in front of people (!) paralyzes me.

In highschool, whenever I was called on in class, regardless of topic or my knowledge on the subject, I had a canned answer "I don't know." Far better to appear to not be paying attention or care than to be WRONG. Or be EMBARRASSED!

I'm much better now. I speak my mind quite a bit in public - if it's on a topic I feel comfortable on. But even then I worry people think I'm a blabbermouth at the end (*cough cough* brain drain events *cough*)

But in a situation where I feel out of my depths? If you tell me I HAVE to talk, I may start to cry - at least on the inside. Or leave.

I'm working on confronting these fears. I don't actually leave, even though I really really want to. But just for the record, if you are in a group and you tell everyone they HAVE to speak up individually or do something individually in front of a group of people, you probably just really upset someone. Maybe that's OK, but know that it happened. And be really supportive of the girl in the back who looks like she's about to cry. K?