Afraid of the scale

For as long as I can remember, I've dreaded weighing myself. I'm constantly struggling with my weight... trying to keep it lower, finding out I messed up my goals by giving in to the urge for yummy foods. It's frustrating and often disheartening.

And now I have a new battle with the scale... fear of readings being too low for Kiernan. As we've struggled with the fact that he's so little and the fear that there might be something more to that than just the fact that he's a little guy, I've gotten more and more apprehensive about weighing him. Instead of weighing him to see the progress we've made, I worry that he'll be weighed (especially when we're at the doctor's) only find he's lost weight instead of gaining.

We have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday and the closer we get, the more nervous I get. I think in some cases he's been eating less lately, but that's because he's finally willing to eat grown up food instead of baby food. And for me, that's a step in the right direction.

Maybe it's time to throw away the scales and just trust in my intuition when it comes to him - but I have a feeling the doctors won't be so keen on that plan. So we'll go, and he'll get weighed, and one day, when he's 6'2 and 200 lbs I'll be able to laugh at how concerned I was that he was too small and that the doctors would think I wasn't working hard enough to get him to grow ;)