Friday, March 26, 2010

Some moments I'll miss having

We are done having kids.

I feel very comfortable with that decision. We have a very nice sized family. We have two boys and a girl. We have done our share to propagate the species; have had our fair share of sleep deprivation (not that it's over yet.)

I feel done.

But there are moments that I am sad I will never get to experience again. Moments that were so special it would be lovely to get to do them over and over again.

* To feel a baby moving inside you.

* To birth them into this world (this was what I was best at in pregnancy, and I really am sad I won't get to do it again.) It was for me amazing and empowering.

* To meet your child for the first time and see the miracle that you created.

* To see the look of adoration in the eyes of your spouse, parents, grandparents, in-laws, in meeting this incredible new person.

* To smell the sweet breath of your newborn.

* To feel the love that is so special between a parent and new child that just grows and grows.

I am so blessed to have gotten to experience these things with my three children.

I am done. But I think I'm still going to grieve not getting to do these things again a little bit anyways.

7 comments:

Loukia said...

I love all those things so much. I've done it twice... and a big part of me feels like I am done... I feel complete... but then something will happen, and I'll see another cute baby, or something, and I'll ache totally for another child. I give myself another two years to make my FINAL decision. I just do not know. You have a beautiful family!

Capital Mom said...

It is weird to think any more babies you hold wont be yours. I get that. But I am excited about the next part too!

Miss Vicky said...

I hear you on the mixed feelings. With two kids and two very risky births, not to mention my recent 42nd birthday, we are definitely done. Steps have been taken. I know when I wean AJ I am going to be really sad.... that being said, I am so grateful for the chance to have these two babies, and I know we're going to enjoy every stage of their development.

Shannon O | Confessions of a Loving Wife said...

We are just beginning and hope to have children in the next few years... thanks for your list, now I have many things to look forward too.

m photography - melanie rebane said...

There are so many journey's we have as women and the transformation from woman to mother is a powerful one. You have articulated beautifully this part of our journey...where we close a chapter on our capacity to bring life into the world -which let's face it is incredible...I am so lucky to capture women as they approach the birth of their first children and as a woman that is also done...i already find myself reminiscing as if it were a lifetime ago...thanks for the post Lara...

Christine said...

We haven't decided for sure if we are done yet. Well my husband has, I haven't. Many of the things you say pull at my heart and make a third baby a very real possibility. But most of all I just don't feel done yet. I wonder if I ever will.

nonlineargirl said...

I'm right there with you.