Thursday, November 25, 2010

Fake it

Lately I don't want to get out of bed. My children (whom I love very much) have been sick and whiny and clingy and have pushed me the very end of my sanity.

I feel inadequate as a mother; a a friend; as a wife. I am ready to curl up on the floor and give up, wishing I could be alone for... a week. Or a month or two. Maybe then I wouldn't feel such melancholy; so lost and out of control.

And then I thought "fake it".

So today that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to pretend the whining and clingy-ness doesn't feel like nails on a chalkboard. I'm going to pretend I feel confident enough not to let others get me down. I'm going to pretend I have the energy to go for a walk to the park when I really want to huddle on the couch while my kids trash the house.

While I'm at it I'm going to pretend to be organized and efficient, pretend I don't hate cleaning, pretend I like exercising and pretend I don't feel like I'm living life on a hamster wheel.

And if I fake all those things, even for just a day or two, maybe some of them will start to feel true.

It's going to be a good day. A GREAT day! (are you feeling it? :)