Four

I can't believe he's four. He goes to school - every day, all day. He has long (ohhh how they are long) and complicated conversations. He remembers SO much! He loves his brother and sister. He still loves to give hugs and kisses. He still likes to sit on my knee, although it's too annoying to stand because he never stops moving.


He went from this


to this:


in a heartbeat.

Sometimes I wish it would slow down. But mostly, I am honoured to get to witness him live and grow.

Happy birthday to the most amazing four year old I know :) (no offense to all the other fabulous four year olds ;)

Meal Plan - week 1

Over at Losing it in Ottawa I promised I would put together a full meal plan for this week and post it on my blog. So here it is! A bunch are new recipes, I'll let you know how they turn out.

Dirty rice is an easy throw it all together meal I've made many times over the years and I made Tinbuktuna for the first time last week and it was the only week all meal the entire family ate. If for that alone, I will make it weekly from now on if I need to ;)

Also, I'm having a giveaway over on my Losing it Post - so go check it out!

I have no idea why the table is way the heck down the post so... scroll down wouldya? :)

	Breakfast	Lunch	Dinner
Monday	Waffles	flavoured tuna & cucumber on pita	The thigh who loved me Crazy Plates, pg 97
Tuesday	Crumpet and peanut butter	tv dinner (weight watchers or lean cuisine)	Timbuktuna
Wednesday	Waffles	Ham and cheese eggs	Out for dinner
Thursday	Cereal	ham sandwich	Sizzling Sesame Shrimp
Friday	Crumpet and peanut butter	tuna sandwich	Dirty Rice
Saturday	waffles	Nephew's birthday *fingers crossed*	Loafstyles of the Rich and Famous Turkey meatloaf - Looney Spoons pg 92
Sunday	cereal	pancakes and eggs	Beef stew

365 update - the one where I almost quit

I almost quit 365 this week. In fact, I almost quit 365 on day 100.

Why? Because I found myself struggling to take a photo every day. Some days I had many great ones, but all too often I was taking a photo of a wall in my house at 11 at night just to say I took something. For some reason I am stuck on the fact that the photo NEEDS to be from the day it's supposed to be from - no fudging. And if I can't do that, I may as well quit.

Day 100 was the worst. I pathetically took a photo at 11ish with my iphone - too lazy to go out to the van to get my real camera.




In case you missed it, the muffins say 100 - but I can't take credit for that, Angela helped me figure out SOMETHING. You know, at 11 at night.

The next morning I had pretty much decided to quit. But, I am a tweeter. I tweeted my intent. And I was talked out of it :)

Apparently some of you like looking at my photos? (oh look, she's blatantly asking for praise ;) I'm told the lame photos are more than made up for by the good ones. And I admit that being forced to pick up my camera (almost) daily has made for some photos I probably never would have gotten otherwise.

I think it's been too long for me to go through ALL the photos I took since my last update post, so instead here are some of my favourites:

Juliette - the personality pours out of every pore


Quinn - could he look any more pleased with himself?


Kiernan - sitting in the tall grass at Eric's family's farm


We drive to get the babies to sleep a lot. Now I stop and take photos


Kiernan at the MacKenzie King Estate


First day of school. First day on the bus. Big big day


Happy boys in a cow train


I am very proud of this one. There are others from the set here if you're interested.


The day I didn't quit (day 101)


I guess I'm glad I didn't quit :)

First day of school

Today Kiernan went to school. For the whole day by himself! Like the totally big boy that he is; even when Mommy wants to live in denial.

We've been talking about school for a long time. Months and months. And he was excited! But this past week he started getting hesitant. He was more shy than I think I'd ever seen him during the one on one interview with the teacher and that kind of threw me off.

Then he announced he didn't want to go to school - he was afraid of his teachers, he told me. And he didn't want to take the school bus.

Hm.

In the end, I thought it would be good for him to take the bus so we convinced him to take the bus but that we would be at school to meet him and make sure it went well. We got him all ready, put on his big backpack.



Then we removed his big backpack, took out about half the stuff he needed to take for his first day and put it in a separate bag that I brought for him. Man they need a lot of stuff!

Then we put the backpack back on and walked to the corner to meet the bus.




It was a very emotional moment, I must admit. But he got on no problem and off to school he went. And we rushed back home, got the twins in the car and headed over to the school. Where we had to wait a good 10-15 minutes for the bus to arrive. After about five minutes my anxiety started building, because you know, obviously something happened to the bus in the tiny distance it had to go ;)

But finally it arrived and I could see that there was an older girl on the bus helping him put his backpack back on and he got off the bus happy and told me the bus was fun. Yay! Success!

We went into the school and started walking towards his class when he said "so we're going to meet the teacher?" uh oh. I told him no, he was going to be staying there for the day and he started to whine and say he wanted to go home. The instant he saw the teacher he threw himself behind me and started to sob. oh boy.

After about 5 minutes of sobbing and talking I got him into the classroom and got his bag on his hook and the teacher said she'd take over. Ok. I knew it was the right thing to do so I left my sobbing baby with this stranger at SCHOOL. And then I peered in the window on the other side of the classroom as I left and saw him standing there holding the teacher's hand sobbing. And it sucked my friends, it sucked.

But I left and I tried to relax and I went home. And I reminded myself that Kiernan is good in new situations, that he's social and he's smart and he could deal with being at school. And I convinced myself it was true - lord help me if I hadn't been able to, I would have spent the day crying in the dark or something.

I went out to meet the bus early, just in case. And the bus pulled up and no Kiernan came out. And the bus driver called for him and .... nothin'. So I got on the bus and I found Kiernan disoriented with a paper crown over his face - he'd fallen asleep on the bus ride home after a long and tiring day of school :)

And as we walked home with him in his paper crown and sporting a new tshirt with the picture of his new school mascot over the one he was already wearing he told me that he'd had a good day and school was fun. And he told me that he cried in the morning because he thought he didn't want to go to school. But actually, he did want to go to school. And that made me a very happy mommy indeed.

The one where the mama can't believe her baby is starting school tomorrow

Tomorrow my baby...

this one:


or maybe this one:

ok... actually this one...

is going to don his flashing spiderman backpack and his flashing firebolt sketchers and start kindergarden....

... and this mama's nerves are completely on edge.

How did my baby get to be old enough to start school?!

I am nervous for him because I know it won't always be easy. I am nervous for him because I never liked school and it was a long long road for me to get through. I hope for him that this will be a good experience. I hope for him that he will make friends and learn French quickly. I hope he will be happy and I hope he has fun.

And I hope I make it through tomorrow without ending up at the school trying to peer through windows making sure he's ok ;)

Seeking nursing advice

I am still nursing my 15 month old twins. I am happy to still be doing that and have no huge desire to start the weaning process. EXCEPT

In the last few weeks Juliette has learned to ask. The first time she did it I was tickled - it was so cute. I always use a pillow when I nurse so she would find a pillow and drag it over to me. Tiny girl dragging big pillow. CUTE

But now, she does it like 5 million times a day. And when I say no she stomps her feet, throws herself to the floor and has a full on temper tantrum. SO frustrating! She also freaks out if I don't nurse her as soon as she wakes up in the morning (which is fine with me) and as soon as she wakes up from her nap (which I'm not keen on).

Kiernan weaned himself at 11 months after we worked on bottle feeding for me to go back to work. I never anticipated the demands to suddenly get higher. And she doesn't want to stop nursing either - she wants to hang on for eons. She's not a newborn - I'm not down with the marathon nursing anymore.

SO. Do I expect she'll start giving up as I continue saying no? Is this common for some children who nurse longer? Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?

I obviously know it's not the same for all children - Quinn never asks and the only time he freaks out is if Eric goes to him and not me in the middle of the night.

When she acts this way repeatedly it makes me think I'm going to need to cut her off, and that makes me sad. I don't think I'm ready to be done nursing forever yet.

365 update - the really late so lots of photos version

Wow am I ever overdue with this post. So much so I think I'm only going to post one alternate photo, although there are many many many

Day 64
Quinn at MiniPort at Place d'Orleans. Right before I was told NO PHOTOS AT MINIPORT. Oops. And also one of the first photos taken on my new Kodak point and shoot.


Day 65
Taken on my iPhone at Millenium park


Day 66
New York City - during the Kodak bus tour


Day 67
Three bridges - Brooklyn, Manhattan and something that starts with W, in NYC :)


Day 68
Walking in NYC


Day 69
Memorial to John Lenon in Central Park


Day 70
Roanen in the splash park in Queenswood Heights. I really love this photo. Something screams fun to me.


Day 71
Babies exploring the funny "ruins" at Strathcona park


Day 72
Building at Papanack zoo.


Day 73
Dragonfly on the road seen during a walk up at the cottage


Day 74
Juliette


Day 75
Eric and I went on our first date night since before Christmas and had all you can eat sushi. YUMMO!


Day 76
11pm and no photo of the day. This drawing means a lot to me, I brought it home when I lived in korea and really treasure it.


Day 77
Sleepy and sweaty at the cottage


Day 78
Splash pad at Storyland.


Day 79
Tristan and Kiernan on the boardwalk in Pembroke


Day 80
Taken from the car at a stop light on my way to a meeting. Some days you just squeak these photos in.


Day 81
Water is such an interesting subject!


Day 82
What a cutie eh? In her Loopy 4 Ewe hat.


Alternate
All 6 cousins smiling! Juliette in a beam of angelic light ;)

Six word Friday - the best

Tight arms wrapped around my neck.
Warm cheeks pressed into my shoulder.
Love, happiness, strength, trust, comfort. Family.
It's the best feeling in the world.

Frollicking in the rain...

Maybe when my mother in law told me it had been raining all afternoon in Renfrew
Or maybe when I walked out the door and hit a wall of humidity
Or maybe when I looked up at the sky and started to hear rumblings in the sky...
I would have thought I had picked the wrong time to go for a walk.

But I was determined! I was going to workout, I wasn't going to let silly excuses slow me down.

And workout I did - as I ran all the way home, in pants too big that needed to be tugged up every 30 seconds, with burning lungs, through a downpour with shrieking giggling twins in the stroller.

Good news: I can log a totally unintentional jog into this week's Losing it exercise regime!

Now I need a nap. And a pizza.

15 months old

The babies are 15 months old and man oh man are they a lot of work!!

Kiernan was in daycare by the time he was a year so I'm not used to running after a 15 month old 7 days a week, let alone 2. And THESE 15 month olds - GET INTO EVERYTHING!

If you have any advice on how to get them to stop climbing, throwing, opening, touching EVERYTHING, let me know. We still have them in the jumperoo and exersaucer (when they'll let us) just to have a break from them touching EVERYTHING constantly. The playroom is a godsend but they only want to be in there so much. yanno?

I think I'm going to sign them up for Gymboree in September and have LOTS and LOTS of activities planned. Also, slowly friends are threatening to go back to work. Not cool friends, not cool ;)

As for what they're doing

Quinn

- Saying most "hi" "up" "tata" "dada" and "lala" (or la-ya) Lala is me. I think that may be a post in and of itself. And we think he's starting to say Juliette.
- Starting to walk. He walked across the room the other day, so he can do it. But he is still
choosing to crawl most of the time- often like a bear with his bum up in the air.
- Still super huggy. He comes up to you and simply lays his head on your lap for a cuddle. Or hangs on with so much might you could drown in those hugs. They are awesome.

Juliette

- Saying "hi" "bye bye" "mommy" "night night" "no" or rather "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO"
- brings books (but doesn't want to read them)
- has started to request nursing more and more by dragging a pillow to me. This is very cute the first few times but starting to get frustrating as I'm pretty sure a 15 month old doesn't need to nurse all day.

They both
- climb. oh they climb. We've had to rescue them from perilous situations and I don't like it one bit. (That slide below? Q got up there before I noticed! He was so high I couldn't reach him from the ground. Thank god for six year old cousins who take their jobs of helping very seriously)
- they interact so sweetly together, waving hello when they see each other and hugging and kissing. They also smack each other over the head with toys, so, you know... it goes both ways.

Losing it in Ottawa

If you've known me for long you probably know I struggle with my weight. I'm up and down and generally far heavier than I want/ought to be.

But I'm ready to take the bull by the horns, and to do that a group of five other bloggers and I have started a new blog called Losing it in Ottawa.

Head over and check it out. I'm the sixth and final blogger and my post is up today so have a look at my post and then go back and check out all the other girl's intro posts.

We'd love to have your support, and if you've been struggling with your weight, we'd love if you came along for the ride!

Wish me luck!

Six word Friday - This much I know

Some days I could give up

Some days I could try harder

But I am remembering to pause

The joys are many and plentiful

I appreciate how lucky I am

And love makes it all worthwhile

BlogHer '10 - community of awesome

The number one reason that I went to BlogHer was not to grow my blog, or monetize it, or learn what" I should do next". The number one reason that I went was that blogging has made me feel like I'm part of something. A secret sisterhood? A cool club? I don't know what exactly to call it, but bloggers, and moms within social media, they support each other and I think it's awesome!

Twitter has only increased that feeling, exponentially, for me. The bloggers and moms I was becoming friends with through blogs now honestly feel like IRL friends (and some have become so). Twitter makes me feel like I always have someone to go to in times of need.

And while I was at BlogHer, I had a bit of a time of need. After 3 days away from my unweaned twins, and many attempts at pumping with the borrowed breast pump I brought with me (I don't generally pump so I don't have an operational pump that I know and count on) I was uncomfortable, to say the least.

I was getting engorged, and I was feeling a blocked duct on the way. And I wasn't sure what else to do other than what I was doing. BlogHer is super supportive of moms and even had a Lansinoh sponsored lactation lounge, but it wasn't constantly manned and the time I stopped in it was empty.

So, I did was social media types (who are apparently comfortable with putting it ALL out there into the web-o-sphere) do and I tweeted:

Anyone with pumping help/advice available to help me out today at #BlogHer10 #bf? #ireallymissmyunweanedtwinsless than a minute ago via Echofonglidinglara
glidinglara

I expected and hoped someone might respond. Within minutes I got more than I ever anticipated! And the only person who really was on my list when this started was @PhDinparenting - the rest came about because of ReTweeting.

@glidinglara What kind of help do you need? Have you been to Lanisoh lactation lounge? #blogher10less than a minute ago via TweetChatphdinparenting
phdinparenting

@glidinglara what kind of help? try to find @thienkim she is bfing mom, there is also a lactation lounge somewhereless than a minute ago via TwitterRideElita
Blacktating

@glidinglara what kind of help do you need? I'm a seasoned pumper.less than a minute ago via EchofonTheFeministBreeder
FeministBreeder

@Blacktating @glidinglara I'm not at the hilton right now but go to the mother's room. @GinaAtLansinoh is there to help. I'll be back soonless than a minute ago via TweetCasterThien-Kim Lam
thienkim

@glidinglara I have a Hygeia pump with me - do you have your own horns? I'll let you use mine and show you how. Let me know.less than a minute ago via EchofonTheFeministBreeder
FeministBreeder

@glidinglara Hi! How can I help?less than a minute ago via UberTwitterBettina Forbes
BestforBabes

And there were more! Within minutes a swarm of help was within reach. I was tweeting back and forth with people, and I knew that if I went back to the lactation lounge right away I would find someone to help me.

And I did! @ginaatlansinoh was there from @lansinohusa, along with a couple of other women (I unfortunately didn't catch their names) and they gave me some excellent advice. I walked in thinking this was a total shot in the dark... what else could they tell me other than keep on pumping?

Well, they knew I'd probably been rushing (which was true) and I was "sternly" told I needed to spend no less than 45 minutes sitting and relaxing to get anywhere.

Other helpful suggestions like a hot shower, photos of my kids, and just letting my mind relax were all great too. And the kicker, they gave me a brand new pump to use (and keep) because I had a one sided pump and they knew that a double pump would increase my chances at being successful.

Within an hour I was on my way up to my hotel room with a new breast pump and a plan. After 45 minutes (I did it... it was boring... but I did it :) I had pumped more milk than I had in every other pumping session put together since I'd arrived in New York City.

The pump worked marvelously. It was a Lansinoh Affinity. I admit to having somehow become a Medala snob over time, but this pump was smaller than any double pump I'd encountered with Medela and worked really well! I recommend checking it out if you're in the market for a pump.

And not only did I walk away from the experience more comfortable because the problem had been solved, I was on a high from the amazing things that social media does. Within minutes of me asking for help I was on my way to having a solution, and I felt SO supported.

And THAT is what I wanted from BlogHer. And I totally got it.