When you do what you gotta do even if you don't want to

I'm holding on. Holding on for dear life. And I think it's making me crazy.

I always felt that while I was home with my kids I could still hold on to me stuff. I want to have time to quietly sit and drink a coffee and check some blogs when I first wake up. I resent the kids for not letting me have it.

I want to have time to work on my resume, to look for work, etc during the day, and the kids won't let me do it. They want me to play with them all day long, and I don't really want to do it. But that's not fair to them.

And we're all getting frustrated and we're all having temper tantrums.

I need to let go and go with the flow that they are requiring. They are one and they need to be entertained. I can't expect them to take care of themselves while I clean, do crafts, blog, etc... no matter how much I want them to. And they deserve more.

We are going to need a new "world order". I am going to need to create a routine. Playtime, parktime, playdate time, lunchtime, nap time, library time, etc. If I schedule it, if I make it more about them, I think it will get easier.

I don't want to let go... but we may all breathe a bit easier if I do.